Befriending a Better Habit

Energy-Draining Bad Habits
The results of a bad or outgrown habit are like a swarm of gnats...distracting and annoying! The energy it takes to shoo them repeatedly away adds up over time and raises our stress levels. Yet like gnats, bad habits can be very persistent, as we all know!

I'll use one of mine as an example. I was a life-long producer of clutter who was also great at maintaining it! Ugh! In the past several months, I've finally gotten a handle on it. It's a lifestyle change that I have adopted, and I'm keeping a structure in place to assure that the new habit sticks.

Speaking of Structure...
...create some for yourself. Set up some way to be accountable to others for the changes you want to make. Choose your accountability partners carefully, because you will need gentle support and encouragement from them as well.

I continue to receive support and accountability from my family, friends, and coaching colleagues. Last fall I even went public here on my blog with a decluttering challenge that I had set for myself!

Make It Fun!
I know...this is where you're thinking, "This woman is nuts!" But give it a try. You might pair the new activities required with something you enjoy, such as listening to music.

Make yourself a chart so you can visually track your progress. Use colors and symbols that make you smile.

For my clutter-zapping and prevention, I set a goal of 15 minutes a day in four areas for a total of 1 hour a day. This keeps me on track, and the rewards of not having to deal with clutter or cleaning much during the rest of the time are well worth it.

And I do track my time on paper. If I'm out of town for the day, I make up the time later.

The Key to Motivation
O.K., even if you don't think you can find any way to make a new habit fun, ask yourself this: "How will this new habit support my larger vision?" This question could make a crucial difference to someone who, for example, is setting out to change from a procrastinator to someone who is proactive about getting things done.

When I saw decluttering as something I "should" do, I couldn't muster up the resolve to see it through. As my friend Sally says, "Don't should on yourself!"

Now, I see life much more holistically, and I know that staying organized affects the Feng Shui of my office and home, as well as my personal energy. I also see organization as an important element of my self-care. And it's important to me to be a great role model for clients, participants, and readers.

Some coaches don't discuss topics they are still struggling with because it makes them feel out of integrity. My feeling is, however, that if someone else can learn from something I know but have not yet been able to fully implement, why not share it with them? To stay in integrity, I just admit right up front that I'm still working on the issue myself.

These days, with the clutter issue, I can honestly say that I have a handle on it. There are a few drawers and closets that still need some work, but now that my new habit is in place, they too will soon be more orderly!

Best of Luck as You Develop New Habits that Will Serve You Better for a Lifetime! Please share your successes, setbacks, and questions with my other readers and me.

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. Shameless Plug: Contact me to set up a complimentary trial coaching session by phone or in person at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

***Member of TriCounty Community Network, a local human services resource at www.TCNetwork.info.

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A Holistic View of Feng Shui and Your Work

Your Physical Environment

Take stock of the physical environment of your home, office and/or studio. Is clutter or disorganization blocking the free flow of energy in these areas?

Also check for items that don't serve you in your current stage of life. Even worse are items that remind you of a difficult time and bring down your energy when you see them.


Psycho-Spiritual Feng Shui

Your physical work environment may be great, but if your psycho-spiritual environment is out of whack, you will feel out of whack. Shore up this part of your environment by getting a handle on your emotions. You'll also need to clear up any unfinished business with other people.

Take your spiritual temperature and see if your are aligning with your own current beliefs. Also take a look at your integrity. Are your thoughts, words, and actions aligned with each other?


Your Physical Body

As the saying goes, "The body doesn't lie." What is going on in the two areas I discussed above, will affect the energy that your body is taking in and giving out. You will feel it in your level of wellness and in how others respond to you.

And of course your work (creative or otherwise) will be affected. Ask yourself: "Am I an energetically sound vessel for the creativity and productivity I am seeking?" If not, check out the areas above and make the needed changes.


It's a Cycle....

In turn, the state of your body's energy will affect the other two areas above. Be sure to apply mindful stewardship to all aspects affecting your energy. There will be a snowball effect, so be sure the snowball is rolling in a positive direction for you!


Shameless Plug of the Week....

Being coached leverages the benefits of living with a holistic perspective! Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com for a complimentary trial session by phone or in person.


Best of luck with your personal energy management!

~Susan

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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***Member of TriCounty Community Network, a local human services resource at http://www.TCNetwork.info.***

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Step up Your Intuitive Development

Here are some tips for developing your intuition:

~Be open to the idea. Your relationship with your intuition can't bloom easily without your attention and respect.

~Start small. Ask yourself who's calling before you pick up the phone. What color will your friend be wearing today? What's coming in the mail for you today? Who should you call today?

~Get Feedback. By starting small, you can get lots of feedback on issues that are not emotionally loaded or parts of crucial decision-making.

~Learn more about what intuition feels like for you. Constriction of the throat may signal a "no," while a more expansive physical sensation may signal a "yes."

~Watch for the sensation of a solid "click." This is how I often experience intuition. It feels like two or more things have come together in a meaningful way. They meet, and then settle in as a new insight with a solid "click," similar to puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly.

~Be aware of synchronicities. The timing and meaning of synchronicities may hold a message for you.

~Watch for "way closing." This is the Quaker concept that intuition can show you which way to go by blocking the other options.

~Become familiar with the language of your subconscious mind. It speaks to you through your senses. Intuition can be delivered in the form of an image, a phrase that pops into your head, or a bodily sensation, such as an unexplained knot in your stomach.

~Engage in activities that encourage intuition. Some examples are creative activities, walks in nature, meditation, a relaxing bath or shower, and giving or receiving Reiki.

Please share your experiences with intuition in the comments section!

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Need a fresh perspective? Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a complimentary trial coaching session by phone or in person.

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Thanks,

Susan

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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***Member of TriCounty Community Network, a local human services resource at http://www.TCNetwork.info.***

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Prolonged Denial: A Hidden Source of Trouble

Denial...it's so easy to see in others. By definition, we have a very difficult time seeing it in ourselves.

Useful denial is like useful anger; they're both designed by nature to be temporary. Temporary anger nudges us to take constructive action. Temporary denial protects us from being hit by all the emotional pain of loss at one time.

Prolonged denial, though, becomes a nasty little gremlin that really messes with your mind and life. Because we can't see the denial itself, we must look at the symptoms. Here are a few to consider:

~Creative Blocks. Chances are, they aren't caused by laziness or lack of something to express!

~Free-Floating Anxiety is probably a misnomer in most cases. We don't see the source, so we assume there isn't one. Long-term denial may well be the culprit in certain situations.

~Free-Floating Anger is another symptom. Chronic bouts of unexplainable or inappropriate anger are like the release value on a pressure cooker.

TV personality and author Art Linkletter tells a story about a store clerk who looked like she was about to snap at anyone (maybe everyone...) who walked by. Mr. Linkletter asked her, "Are you angry?" She answered, "No, of course I'm not angry!" To this he replied, "Well, you'd better tell your face!"

~Exhaustion...physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. It takes a lot of energy to suppress emotions, which sometimes leads to...

~Depression. And again, it may be difficult to pin down the cause if it's related to chronic denial.

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Resources for Help

~Self-Help. If the problem isn't too deeply entrenched, you might be able to gain clarity through journaling.

~Friendly Help. Ask someone you trust to give you objective feedback about what you might not be acknowledging.

~Therapy may be needed to rout out deep-seated denial and work through it.

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Then What?

~Forgiveness and/or self-forgiveness. This is easier said than done, and it takes time. A therapist can help you develop this skill set.

~Redesign Your Life. Prolonged denial and its symptoms can take you way off course in life. When you have worked through the issues, you will be ready to construct a lifestyle more to your liking. A great life coach may be just the catalyst you need!

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Shameless Plug Time: Contact me for a complimentary exploratory coaching session by phone or in person! Email: scleaver@dejazzd.com.

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~Shameless Request Time: Please comment on your experience with this topic! Questions are welcome, too.

Thanks,
Susan

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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A Step Beyond Gratitude: Appreciative Inquiry

"What went right?"

"What worked before?"

"What am I grateful for in this situation?"

"What do I appreciate in myself and others?"

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These questions are at the heart of Appreciative Inquiry, a method that is used formally and informally in many settings.

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Clients are often taught to use Appreciative Inquiry in individual or relationship therapy. Individuals also apply it on their own without realizing it, having heard about the benefits of positive thinking, gratitude, and the Law of Attraction.

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When businesses and other organizations employ Appreciative Inquiry, they combine the synergy of group brainstorming with the effectiveness of looking at past successes. They use the results to develop new goals and strategies.

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We life coaches encourage our clients to use Appreciative Inquiry to focus on their strengths and build the self-confidence to move forward.

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Give it a try! The next time you're setting a goal, look at the questions at the beginning of this post. Use your answers as the foundation for new areas of discovery that may currently be outside of your comfort zone.

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Please share your comments on your experiences with Appreciative Inquiry!

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Thanks,

Susan

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P.S. to Locals: Join us for some serious pampering! I'm hosting a Stress-Less Evening on Friday, May 15, 2009, from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm in Douglassville, PA. Kick back and relax as I provide Reiki, soothing music, snacks, guided imagery, and more! Contact me ASAP for details, as I'll need your prepayment of $20 by Tuesday, May 12, 2009. Email: scleaver@dejazzd.com. Phone: 610-385-3766. It'll be fun!

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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The Sacred Stewardship of a True Vision

I want to share with you the most inspiring explanation of having a vision that I've ever seen! It was in Jesse Jennings' Q&A column in the latest issue of Science of Mind Magazine.

Jennings explained that when creating a vision, ideally we plan from the outset to work ourselves out of a job. For example, if you start a non-profit organization to help domestic violence victims, your vision would be that of a world where everyone is safe in their own home. That's your ultimate goal...for the organization to become unnecessary!

This doesn't make you unnecessary, of course. In fact, you'd be the perfect person to start another organization with a new vision of another problem that you can see as eradicated!

To me, these kinds of visions are of the highest order, and are true examples of sacred stewardship.

My best to you,
Susan

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Be an Effective CEO of Your Own Life

You Are Your Own "Chief Environmental Organizer"

Are you short-changing yourself in any of these areas?

Physical
Examples of possible problem areas: clutter, poor air quality, poor lighting, poor Feng Shui.

Emotional
Pull any weeds from your emotional garden. If you can't do it alone, hire a therapist to help you.

Mental
This is clearly a "use it or lose it" area. Exercise your brain and fuel it well for best performance.

Spiritual
Does your environment feed your soul with beauty, nature, music, solitude, etc.?

Family
How is your family doing in the areas of mutual respect, sharing responsibilities, communication, etc.?

Creativity and Productivity
Are there any blocks here? What facilitates these two assets for you?

Community
Do you feel a sense of community? If not, how can you change your environment to create community? The natural cycle of giving and receiving is very valuable, and community is an important foundation for that. Take a look at your networks and opportunities for collaboration.

Boundaries
As I mentioned in last week's post, be sure to educate others about the boundaries you need to have in place...and back them up!

All my best,
Susan

P.S. to Locals: The Healthy Lifestyles Expo takes place this Friday, the 17th, in Pottstown! See last Monday's post for details, or email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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