Personal Alignment: The Journey to Authenticity

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Daniel Halvorson

The old saying is true...you can't compare apples to oranges. Especially if the oranges hide under the cloaks of apples!

So, as we wrap up our first quarter of Audacious Self-Care, let's take a look at authenticity as our final topic about "The Possible You." Many folks think of showing authenticity as a very risky way to live [as do some oranges, apparently :-) ].

The perceived risk is usually a fear of not being accepted as we are...leaving us feeling vulnerable. But the bigger risk is continuing to hide behind a mask (or an apple skin!) This type of recluse is likely to feel scattered and lonely. After all, how can you develop meaningful relationships when it's difficult to know yourself, let alone letting others get to know you!

The solution sounds simple, but it may take some time change old habits. Here's what we need to do:

Personal Alignment

We are aligned when our thoughts, feelings, values, speech, and actions match.

I like to think that that's why the cookie man below is smiling!

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Alasdair Thomson

Before we start our new Audacious Self-Care topic for April, May, and June, I want to share a quote to close out our topic about "The Possible You." It's from a book by David Heller called, "Children on Happiness."

"The secret of happiness is kindness...not just toward other people but being kind to yourself too." ~~Michael Y., at the age of 10

********************

2011: The Year Audacious Self-Care with Coach Susan

For April, May, and June, our topic is...

Take a Look Around: Your Personal Environment

Photo (c) iStockphotos.com/PeskyMonkey

It took me many years to see that decluttering and organizing in my home and office are actually a form of self-care! The condition of our personal environments affects us in ways that I knew nothing about 20 years ago.

The time and energy it takes to develop better habits in this area are welcome exchanges for the the time and energy it costs us to even be in a messy environment, let alone trying to function in one! The Feng Shui experts are really onto something. Your personal energy is affected by the energy of the space you're in.

Please comment on your experiences with various spaces and their quality, size, color, mood, level of organization, and other characteristics that affect you!

This is the interactive part of The Audacious Self-Care Community! :-)

Please respond now while you are here. Most folks have a lot on their plates and will forget to respond if they put it off.

And speaking of interactions, have you ever thought of the people around as part of your environment? Their moods and energy levels can affect you negatively or positively. Don't get caught up in the negativity that others may be bringing to the space. Be careful about who you spend time with.

If you can't escape an obnoxious co-worker, for example, do what you can to limit contact. You may also want to sit down and have a frank conversation with him or her. They may not realize how negatively they're coming across. Let them know in the most civilized way you can that you will no longer be one of their targets.

Also, do whatever you can to avoid picking up the negative energy of other people. My husband is rarely affected by negative energy. His secret? "I just put up my s*#t shield!" he says. It's a great bit of imagery...in part because of the lightness and humor it brings to your own energy! Humor solves many problems!

***************

Here's a quick review of what we'll be talking about over the course of The Year of Audacious Self-Care:

First Quarter: "The Possible You"

Second Quarter: "Take a Look Around: Your Personal Environment"

Third Quarter: "Boundaries and Bridges:Your Interactions with Others"

Fourth Quarter: "Audacious Self-Care through Contribution and Stewardship"

~~~~~~

As you can see already, each section builds upon the ones before it, and there will be some overlap. I love this picture below because it represents the interconnections of the topics...after all, we do live in a holistic world!

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Andrew Johnson

~~~~~~

Reminders from my last post....

Upcoming Spring Events, Both LOCAL and GLOBAL!

LOCAL EVENTS

The Healthy Lifestyles EXPO

Friday, April 15, 2011, from 9:30 am to 1:30 pm

Montco West Campus in Pottstown, PA

This event is complimentary, thanks to several sponsors from the community!

'Hope to see you there...stop by my table to say "Hi"!

For more information, contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766.

~*~*~*~

Stress-Less Evening Friday, April 29, 2011, from 7:00 to 9:00 pm

Douglassville, PA

This is one of my most popular events...at a recession-friendly fee of $25 per person, prepaid, for two hours of pure pampering!

Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766. I'll need your check by Wednesday, April 20, 2011.

~*~*~*~*~*~

GLOBAL EVENTS

The fee will be waived on an exploratory coaching session for each of the first three people who contact me by Wednesday, May 13, 2011 to set up an appointment! The actual appointment day can be as late as Tuesday, May 10, 2011. Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766. You may be invited, but never pressured, to continue with more sessions at my regular, recession-friendly fees.

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Warchi

~*~*~*~*~

Global Spring Cleaning Party Via TeleConference Line

May 3, 2011, from 7:00 to 9:00 pm Eastern

We'll be checking in at the top of each hour, 7, 8, and 9, for a few minutes to declare what we're working on how we did in the previous hour. And we celebrate all victories!

Expert Karen Kingston says that Americans are THE worst clutters in the world! She says we put it everywhere...in sheds, basements, attics, closets, garages, spare rooms, and on and on! So I hope that readers from all over world will call into our party and support us here in the US!

And for those of you who live in the southern hemisphere, there is never really a bad time to get rid of things that are clogging up the energy in our homes, studios, and offices. I hope you'll join us!

I'm not charging to host this event (after all it is a party!) Your only expense is whatever your long-distance carrier charges you to place the three short calls to the US. The teleconference service itself is complimentary. Here's the number to call: 712-432-3973, PIN Code 7280202.

No RSVP is required. If you have questions before the party , you can contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766. (Hint: If I've totally confused you, look back on my post from March 8, where I've explained it a little differently.) I hope you can make it! This is the only kind of party where I can clean my home during the party instead of before it! :-)

********************************

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are (c) Susan Cleaver.***

***Active member of the TriCounty Community Network in South Eastern PA,

http://www.tcnetwork.org/ ***

Be an Effective CEO of Your Own Life

You Are Your Own "Chief Environmental Organizer"

Are you short-changing yourself in any of these areas?

Physical
Examples of possible problem areas: clutter, poor air quality, poor lighting, poor Feng Shui.

Emotional
Pull any weeds from your emotional garden. If you can't do it alone, hire a therapist to help you.

Mental
This is clearly a "use it or lose it" area. Exercise your brain and fuel it well for best performance.

Spiritual
Does your environment feed your soul with beauty, nature, music, solitude, etc.?

Family
How is your family doing in the areas of mutual respect, sharing responsibilities, communication, etc.?

Creativity and Productivity
Are there any blocks here? What facilitates these two assets for you?

Community
Do you feel a sense of community? If not, how can you change your environment to create community? The natural cycle of giving and receiving is very valuable, and community is an important foundation for that. Take a look at your networks and opportunities for collaboration.

Boundaries
As I mentioned in last week's post, be sure to educate others about the boundaries you need to have in place...and back them up!

All my best,
Susan

P.S. to Locals: The Healthy Lifestyles Expo takes place this Friday, the 17th, in Pottstown! See last Monday's post for details, or email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

.

Minimize Distractions on the Front End

It's an all-too-familiar scenario: You finally have time to focus on a project that is important to you. It's full speed ahead! Until....

Knots, tangles, detours, and other interruptions spring up in your path. Ugh. These little gremlins come from three major sources:

*From the project itself (logistical issues, etc.)

*From outside of you and the project (household emergencies, technology problems, entreaties for help from others, etc.)

*From inside you (lack of sleep, ADD, fear of success or failure, etc.)

Head 'Em off at the Pass. Proactivity is a concept that has been thrown around a lot lately...and with good reason. Being proactive has become one of my most valuable ways to avoid stress! A few tips:

*Have a rainy-day fund in as many of these areas as possible:

~Time

~Space (in your physical surroundings, in your schedule, etc.)

~Money

~Flexibility

~Resources

~Patience (Learn to accept what is while still intending to move forward.)

~Supplies (It stinks to get a great idea for a watercolor painting and then realize you never got around to replacing your worn-out brushes. When inspiration strikes, the last thing you feel like doing is running an errand!)

*Educate others about your needs and boundaries.

~Let them know when your focus time is, and when you're available to be reached.

~Sure, you want to help others when they truly need it. But be firm with those who tend to disrespect your time and/or expect you to bail them out because of their own lack of planning or follow-through.

And for the gremlins and interruptions that manage to sneak through anyway....

*Ask yourself why it happened. If you could have avoided it, own up to that and learn for next time. But don't waste energy beating yourself up about it.

*Prioritize...is the interruption important enough to drop what you were doing completely, or can you put the obstacle in a holding pattern for a while?

*Dispatch...choose the best course of action for the interruption:

~Ask for help if that's appropriate.

~You may choose to deal with it on the spot, especially if it's urgent or can be gotten off your plate quickly.

~You may choose an appropriate future time to handle the issue; be sure to make a note on your calendar.

~Ask yourself if it really needs to be done at all. The gremlin may be a sheep in wolf's clothing!

Cultivate inner calm. In college I took a speed-reading course. One of the exercises was to read while hearing (but not taking in) a variety of noises on a recording. I still have a difficult time reading in a noisy environment. It's an interesting exercise, though, and may work for some folks if they practiced it enough.

Here's one I'm much better at...keeping my base-line stress level down by following my own advice from this post. This allows me wiggle room when I need it, so I can respond to situations rather than react to them.

An all-purpose reframing affirmation from author Susan Jeffers, PhD: "Whatever happens, I'll handle it." Give it a try!

All my best to you,

Susan

P.S. for locals: Don't miss the Healthy Lifestyles Expo at the Montgomery County Community College West Campus in Pottstown, PA, on Friday, April 17! I'll be demonstrating Reiki at my exhibit table. Please stop by! Contact me for more details at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

.

Getting the Most from Being Coached

The coaching relationship is a partnership rather than a service that is done "for" you or "to" you. Because of this, you can get the most from your coaching dollars by being the best client you can be.

Below is a list of qualities you can apply or develop in yourself that can help you get the most value from being coached.

~flexible

~open-minded

~has the ability to withhold judgement while brainstorming freely

~allows herself to be pulled forward by the synergy she has created with her coach rather than waiting for the coach to push

~follows through on commitments or is willing to take an honest look at why he didn't follow through

~enthusiastic

~has picked a compelling challenge for herself

~curious, adventurous thinker

~speaks up when he has a concern or wants the coaching to go in another direction

~clear about her values and is willing to take the time to build her personal infrastructure to support them.

I'm eager to hear from those of you who fit this profile! Your trial session is complimentary; email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or call 610-385-3766.

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. to Locals: It was great to see so many familiar people and to meet new ones at the Boyertown Wellness Fair on Saturday! I'll also be exhibiting and demonstrating Reiki at the Healthy Lifestyles Expo in Pottstown on Friday, April 17. Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com for more information.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.**

.