Don't Let Worry Push Your Buttons

Here are some tips...

~Be proactive about being prepared well in advance for events, etc. Just this one change has done wonders in reducing my stress level and taking worry off my plate. Make it a way of life!

~Trust yourself. Make a reasonably informed decision...then move on.

~Bodywork such as massage and Reiki, and the gentle movements of Tai Chi and yoga help to relieve anxiety and stress.

~Give challenging issues your attention when you're feeling fresh and rested. If they start to distract you at other times, write them down and put them aside until you're feeling your best.

~Gandhi said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." I practice this, and it absolutely works! Instead of worrying about something as it is, I become the change I want to see.

~Be very selective about the kinds of media that you let into your psyche. Unless your job requires it, you don't need to be overloaded and stressed by all the bad news that's hyped up on TV, radio, and the Internet!

~Buddy up with a friend who is willing to be your sounding board in exchange for the same favor from you. Speaking your worries out loud to another person helps you keep them in perspective. It forces you to get clear enough about the issue to relay it to another.

~Journaling is another great way to clarify your thoughts and feelings about an issue.

~Look for the hidden "benefit" behind your worry. A small worry can distract you from a bigger challenge that perhaps you could make a difference on. But you feel a little unsure about it, so your subconscious mind grabs any small worry it can find as a substitute.

~Don't "feed" your worries. Like sea gulls, they will come to you in multitudes if they see you as a friendly host. Like attracts like...the Law of Attraction applies to sea gulls and worries, too. :-)

~Once you've done all you can, write down your worries and put them through the shredder! This is a great ritual for releasing worries.

~This next ritual is even more fun! Write your worries on a piece of toilet paper and flush 'em!
Happy New Year!
Susan
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P.S. I offer discount pricing for your introductory coaching session by phone or in person. Give it a try...maybe we can become partners in making your plans for 2010 unsinkable! Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com for an appointment.
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***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, a local human services organization at http://www.tcnetwork.info/.***

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Prolonged Denial: A Hidden Source of Trouble

Denial...it's so easy to see in others. By definition, we have a very difficult time seeing it in ourselves.

Useful denial is like useful anger; they're both designed by nature to be temporary. Temporary anger nudges us to take constructive action. Temporary denial protects us from being hit by all the emotional pain of loss at one time.

Prolonged denial, though, becomes a nasty little gremlin that really messes with your mind and life. Because we can't see the denial itself, we must look at the symptoms. Here are a few to consider:

~Creative Blocks. Chances are, they aren't caused by laziness or lack of something to express!

~Free-Floating Anxiety is probably a misnomer in most cases. We don't see the source, so we assume there isn't one. Long-term denial may well be the culprit in certain situations.

~Free-Floating Anger is another symptom. Chronic bouts of unexplainable or inappropriate anger are like the release value on a pressure cooker.

TV personality and author Art Linkletter tells a story about a store clerk who looked like she was about to snap at anyone (maybe everyone...) who walked by. Mr. Linkletter asked her, "Are you angry?" She answered, "No, of course I'm not angry!" To this he replied, "Well, you'd better tell your face!"

~Exhaustion...physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. It takes a lot of energy to suppress emotions, which sometimes leads to...

~Depression. And again, it may be difficult to pin down the cause if it's related to chronic denial.

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Resources for Help

~Self-Help. If the problem isn't too deeply entrenched, you might be able to gain clarity through journaling.

~Friendly Help. Ask someone you trust to give you objective feedback about what you might not be acknowledging.

~Therapy may be needed to rout out deep-seated denial and work through it.

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Then What?

~Forgiveness and/or self-forgiveness. This is easier said than done, and it takes time. A therapist can help you develop this skill set.

~Redesign Your Life. Prolonged denial and its symptoms can take you way off course in life. When you have worked through the issues, you will be ready to construct a lifestyle more to your liking. A great life coach may be just the catalyst you need!

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Shameless Plug Time: Contact me for a complimentary exploratory coaching session by phone or in person! Email: scleaver@dejazzd.com.

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~Shameless Request Time: Please comment on your experience with this topic! Questions are welcome, too.

Thanks,
Susan

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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The Amazing Dr. Maisel!

Who are the role models for your creative role models? Chances are, one of them is Eric Maisel, Ph.D. He's a creativity coach with a psychotherapist's background who has written over 30 books (fiction and nonfiction). How does he do it? I suspect it has to do with what he calls his "innate wackiness"!

I'll give you a quick look at just three of his many books on creativity. All three of these include great exercises.

The Creativity Book: A Year's Worth of Inspiration and Guidance

For me, following the weekly format of the book would be like eating only one corn chip a week. I gobbled up the whole book within a few weeks!

Here's one of my favorite quotes from the closing paragraph of the book: "I pray that you couple your creative efforts with the other elements of a life worth living: intimate relating and compassionate action in the world."

A Life in the Arts: Practical Guidance and Inspiration for Creative and Performing Artists

This workbook addresses practical considerations that you might see in other creativity books, such as combining art and business, but Maisel also covers the grittier topics that we don't like to think about. These are topics such as depression, anxiety, isolation, and rage. I can tell you from personal experience how grateful many artists will be to see these issues covered so openly!

In this book, Maisel also covers a topic that I haven't seen anywhere else, and that is, how does a person leave (or scale back on) the arts if needed or desired. The reason could be physical, as with an injured dancer, or emotional, as with a case of burn-out. Whatever the reason, Maisel spells out a plan for easing your way out and dealing with the feelings of loss that go with it.

Fearless Creating: A Step-by-Step Guide to Starting and Completing Your Work of Art

The coach in me found Maisel's explanation of appropriate and inappropriate clarity to be of particular interest.

If you've been actively creative for any length of time, you know that anxiety can't be ignored; it must be dealt with. The Appendix on "Anxiety Management Strategies" in this book provides many useful techniques for dealing with anxiety before, during, and after the creative process.

Check Out Dr. Maisel's site at http://www.ericmaisel.com/!

My best to you,
Susan

P.S. Last call for complimentary email support (once a week for four weeks) for your 2008 resolutions! Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to get started.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver***

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