2011: The Year of Audacious Self-Care!

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Ann Marie Kurtz

Welcome!

I'm hosting a year-long program of Audacious Self-Care to build a community that will soften the blow of the recession somewhat for all of us. It really bothers me that now, when folks are looking for ways to rise above the recession and have to great lives anyway, many of them can't afford assistance with their goals!

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I don't want us living "lives of quiet desperation," as Henry David Thoreau put it. I like this quote by Thoreau much better:

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

I know we can all do this despite the recession! Even if you've suffered losses because of the recession, I believe in your power to overcome them and "Live the life you have imagined."

I developed the Audacious Self-Care program so that you can participate in many no-cost and/or reasonably-priced activities. It's this simple: if you want in, you're in! The program itself has no enrollment fee, and you are not obligated to participate in any part of it that has a fee if you're not comfortable with that.

I discussed the Audacious Self-Care program in my 11/22/10 post, along with some goal-setting tips. I encourage you to take a look at that post, too. And later this month, I'll be posting more about goal setting and how to pick the best goal-setting system for you.

Audacious Self-Care is a theme that I'm very passionate about, and I believe it's the perfect one to focus on during the recession! We'll be covering four topics, one for each quarter of the year, keeping in mind that self-care is world-care, and world-care is self-care!

1) The Possible You

2) Take a Look Around: Your Immediate Environment

3) Boundaries and Bridges: Your Interactions with Others

4) Audacious Contribution and Stewardship

Please note: I am not harvesting emails through this program, and there is no official sign-up. Just jump in wherever and whenever you want!

I would love to hear from you in the comments section of this blog! I know we can help each other by reporting our success stories, asking questions, giving advice, and making observations right here on the blog.

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The Audacious Self-Care Community needs your input! I know it will be worth your time to support and be supported and inspired by this community.

I'd like to call upon my five blog followers to step up and get the conversation started. Many thanks to spiritcoach, denagrad, decory, Hazel Dugz, and pf_black44!

For blog followers and non-followers alike, please share your thoughts with us about our current topic, The Possible You. Here's some food for thought: Close your eyes and imagine the best possible you. Describe the scene, including sounds, sights, who is with you, what you're doing, and how you're feeling.

At what level of belief are you that you are actually heading there? 50%? 85%? (If it's zero, don't worry. We'll help you bump it up!) What evidence is currently in your life or in your personal history to support your belief? And finally, what will your self-care need to look like in order to support the possible you?

Most of us have a desire to make the world a kinder and gentler place, and that starts with being kinder and gentler to ourselves! As Daniel Pink, the author of Drive, says:

"...the secret to high performance and satisfaction in today's world is the deeply human need to direct our own lives, to learn and create new things, and to do better by ourselves and our world."

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If you would like a more personal venue, I also encourage occasional brief email exchanges (scleaver@dejazzd.com) at no cost and with no strings. You can even send snail-mail if you wish! :-) The address is Susan Cleaver, P.O. Box 586, Douglassville, PA 19518-1121.

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Speaking of snail-mail, I publish a quarterly, two-page newsletter that is complimentary. (If you live outside of the domestic US, I may ask you to help with the postage, though!) Just let me know if you'd like to receive it and where you'd like it to be sent.

The Audacious Self-Care Community is going to be a great inter-developmental source of fun and support, even if I do say so myself. ('See? I'm already a bit audacious!)

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All my best,

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Susan

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P.S. to local folks: I'll be teaching an accelerated, reasonably-priced version of Audacious Self-Care for the Boyertown Area School District's Continuing Education Program. We'll meet for one hour on each of the four topics.

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We'll cover one each week for four Mondays, starting on March 14. Contact me (scleaver@dejazzd.com) or the District for details.

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***One more thing: Please spread the word about The Audacious Self-Care Community! The more people we have involved, the more wisdom we'll have to share and the more folks we can help. Thank you!***

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***All of Susan's posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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***Proud, active member of the TriCounty Community Network, http://www.tcnetwork.org/.***

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Escape from the Need to Escape

"...set up a life you don't need to escape from." ~~ Seth Godin, business and leadership author

This is one of my favorite lines from Godin's book, Tribes. The quote resonates with me because I've noticed how often the word "escape" comes up in our everyday reading, conversation, and the advertising we see and hear.

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Have you noticed it, too? It seems to be everywhere:

~"Escape from it all with our special getaway vacation packages!"

~"Buy this book for summer escape reading!"

~"These new styles of exotic prints create a getaway in your mind!"

Now, please understand, I'm not advocating a spartan or puritanical existence for any of us. I'm all for vacations, retreats, breaks, and variety in our lives. In fact, I believe they are essential to our health, happiness, and success.

Please ask yourself this question: "Am I running toward something, or away from something?" Your answer will clarify where your motivation is coming from.

This theme dovetails naturally with that of my last post, which was about positive habits. When you give yourself credit for the daily habits you have put in place to move you toward your goals and into your vision, you can live joyfully in the moment.

If you're living happily in the moment of a well-designed life, you'll find that you aren't constantly daydreaming about escaping from the "grind," because you're not experiencing a "grind" to begin with! As I mentioned in my last post, "...you are living a life of grace and style that will make you proud to be who you are!"

If you're still working toward living this way, you've probably noticed people who already are. They generally have tons of enthusiasm and positive energy. They love their work (even if it's volunteer work). And they smile a lot!

I used to meet these people and wonder, "How do they do it??" In the last six years, though, I've been cutting myself a path to the same joyful, playful lifestyle. Now I'm smiling a lot!

Here are seven questions to ask yourself:

~Am I taking great care of myself, physically and emotionally?

~Do I have strong personal boundaries in place? Am I gently but firmly enforcing them with others?

~Am I asking for help when I need it?

~Does my personal environment at home, work, and play serve me or work against me? (Hint: Clear the clutter! I understand...you don't think you have time. I don't feel like I have the time, either. But try it; you'll love the results of having organized spaces to rest, work, and play in. Take it from a recovering clutter bug!)

~What about brain clutter? Well, you probably have some...in the form of negative beliefs that don't serve you anymore. Dump 'em!

~Do I fear change? Again, it's likely that you do, because it's built into our DNA as a protective mechanism. But it often works overtime and to our disadvantage. (Hint: It's usually disguised as feelings of resistance!)

As you can see, while a lack of money or time can be challenging, they don't have to compel you to escape your own daily life! Why wait? I'm a very busy person, and I'm not rolling in money. But I'm happy!

My advice to you: find or make a reason to smile today, right here and now!

My request of you: please leave a comment for my readers and me about how this turns out!

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"...today, well lived, makes every yesterday

A dream of happiness,

And tomorrow, a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore, to This Day."

~"Look to This Day!" from the Unitarian-Universalist Hymnal

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Thank you and bless you,

Susan

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P.S. 'Need help with making this happen? I offer you an introductory coaching session by phone or in person. Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766 to set up an appointment. The fee is nominal, and there's no further obligation. Just show up on time, ready to start. High pressure is simply not my style!

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P.P.S. This blog has an alter-ego! It's my snail-mail newsletter than comes out every two months, called "Susan...Unplugged." Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766 to sign up with your regular mailing address. The newsletter is complimentary in the U.S. If you live outside of the U.S., I may ask for some help with the postage. [Unless, of course, you're a monthly international client! :-) ]

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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***Member of the Tri-County Community Network, a local human services organization at http://www.tcnetwork.info/.***

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Twelve Tips for Designing and Using Affirmations

Here we go....


1. Affirmations need to be clear and to the point, so make sure the goals that the affirmations are growing out of are crystal clear and specific.


2. Now that you have clarity around your goals, check to see that the goals are a good fit for you before designing affirmations around them.


3. Look at your goals again. Who do you need to be in order to reach that goal? If your goals require you to become more outgoing, that would be a good place to start developing affirmations. Examples might be: "I enjoy getting to know new people in my life," and "I have a lot of value to offer the people I'm meeting."


4. As you design your affirmations, keep in mind what you personally need to hear to make it easier to reach your goals. The affirmations that your friend is successfully using may not resonate for you at all.


5. Don't share your goals and affirmations with negative people as they are developing. Their remarks may stall your progress or halt it altogether. Protect these seeds of your future accomplishments.


6. Always create your affirmations in the present tense. Don't start with, "Someday I will...." Your subconscious mind will always see those in the future, so you'll find them difficult to manifest.


7. Always state your affirmations in the positive, such as, "I enjoy excellent health." Statements such as "I don't want to be sick," will keep your subconscious mind focusing on sickness.


8. Have a plan in place for when limiting beliefs pop up while you're doing your affirmations. Consciously reverse those old beliefs, which transforms them into affirmations, too!


9. Does your environment reflect your intentions? It's hard to convince yourself that, "I'm in control of every aspect of my business," when you look in your office and see disorganized piles of papers cluttering every surface in the room.


10. Do your actions reflect your intentions? Are you scouting out the new clothes you'll buy when you lose weight? Can you imagine how you'll look and feel in them? Do you know where you'll most enjoy wearing them? (Whatever you do, don't berate yourself for not fitting into them yet!)


11. Use a multi-sensory approach to introducing new affirmations to your subconscious mind. You can write them, read them, listen to a recording of them, and make art about them!


12. Have respect for workings of the Universe that we can't see or comprehend. Leave the timing and the details of exactly "how" things will manifest to these unseen forces. They are your co-creating partners!

To your success,
Susan

P.S. I was interviewed this week by Davette Harvey on Blogtalk Radio! Davette and I had great fun recording it. Please check it out at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amenique-radio/2009/11/17/empowerment-zone !

P.P.S. Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up your complimentary intro session or telesession with me! Check back over my last several posts for examples of possible formats...or just come with what's on your mind!

P.P.P.S. to Locals:

Santa's Secret Workshop

An easy, pleasant way to get some of your holiday shopping done!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009, at 6:30 pm

Hosted by McCormick Chiropractic in Pottstown

Admission is free, but you must register with our host at 610-705-0201.

I'll have gift items and gift certificates for coaching and Reiki available there!

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, a non-profit human services resource at www.tcnetwork.info.***

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Make the Decision to Read this Book

Book Review:

10-10-10: 10 Minutes, 10 Months, 10 Years; A Life-Transforming Idea

by Suzy Welch, 2009; Simon & Schuster Inc. and Simon and Schuster Audio

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I listened to the unabridged audio version of this intriging book, which is read by the author. Out of her own necessity, Welch has developed a wonderfully clarifying model for making decisions.

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As the title implies, the method involves thinking through the short-range, mid-range, and long-range likely results of the options at hand. Welch's model is also very useful as a low-conflict way of making decisions with others. It's a great way to explain your decisions to others who will be affected by them.

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Below I've pulled together a fictional example to illustrate how this method might be used in everyday living.

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Molly's Quandary

"My kids want a dog. I love dogs, too. But can I take on that extra responsibility as a single mom with three kids?"

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Let's say Molly starts exploring the "Yes" possibility using Welch's 10-10-10 method. She jots down, "Ten Minutes: I'll still feel definite trepidation! The kids will have to contribute more than just 'lip service' about promises to help.

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Ten Months: We'll all be attached to the dog. I'll wonder what took me so long to bring this new source of joy and connection into our lives! I'll still be holding the kids to their specific promises to help. They may resist at times, but by then they'll know that I'm not about to back down on this point.

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Ten Years: I'll feel tremendously rewarded for having taken this risk. We are all learning first-hand about love, responsibility, and cooperation. My decision is made!"

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'Still not sure if this book is worth your time? You can guess what my advice is...apply Welch's 10-10-10 model to decide!

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My best to you,

Susan

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P.S. What?! You haven't had your complimentary coaching session with me yet? :-) Consider this topic....

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"You Are Here": Develop Your Best GPS for Daily Living

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By phone or in person, we'll work on the upgrades you want for your personal GPS !

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Possible areas to explore:

Spirituality

Values

Priorities

Strategies

Goals

Steps

Habits

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Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up an appointment. Your only obligation is to call in on time and be ready to dig in!

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, a non-profit local human services resource at http://www.tcnetwork.info/.***

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How is Your Life GPS Working?

Just as a GPS in your car uses a number of satellites to determine where you are on the road, I recommend these "satellites" that are vital in deciding which roads to take in life.

Spirituality
I use this as my first point of reference. Without this, I feel like, as my husband would say, "a loose canoe in a swift stream."

Values
With clarity around my spirituality, I find it much easier to focus in on my most important values...perhaps the top three to five, to help me see where I'm positioned in life.

Priorities
Once I have the first two in place, from there I can set my priorities as they relate to my values.

Strategies
Once I know my priorities, I can develop strategies that will help me make sure that the priorities are addressed.

Goals
At this point, I can develop useful goals easily, because I've looked at the other areas.

Steps
Next, I can use my goals to figure out what steps I need to take on a daily or weekly basis to make sure I'm manifesting my priorities.

Habits
When I take the steps I need to take on a regular basis, I develop new habits that serve me well in accomplishing my goals. These new habits actually make it easier to do the steps than to not to do them!

So how about you?
What keeps you centered and on track? Please leave a comment and let my other readers and me know! Maybe you have a different series of "satellites" that work for you.

If you try my Life GPS, please let us know how it works for you!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. 'Need some assistance in this area? I'm offering...

"You Are Here": Develop Your Best GPS for Daily Living

...a complimentary coaching session (by phone or in person) where we will work on the upgrades you want for your personal GPS!

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Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up an appointment.

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, a local human services resource at http://www.tcnetwork.info/.

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A Step Beyond Gratitude: Appreciative Inquiry

"What went right?"

"What worked before?"

"What am I grateful for in this situation?"

"What do I appreciate in myself and others?"

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These questions are at the heart of Appreciative Inquiry, a method that is used formally and informally in many settings.

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Clients are often taught to use Appreciative Inquiry in individual or relationship therapy. Individuals also apply it on their own without realizing it, having heard about the benefits of positive thinking, gratitude, and the Law of Attraction.

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When businesses and other organizations employ Appreciative Inquiry, they combine the synergy of group brainstorming with the effectiveness of looking at past successes. They use the results to develop new goals and strategies.

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We life coaches encourage our clients to use Appreciative Inquiry to focus on their strengths and build the self-confidence to move forward.

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Give it a try! The next time you're setting a goal, look at the questions at the beginning of this post. Use your answers as the foundation for new areas of discovery that may currently be outside of your comfort zone.

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Please share your comments on your experiences with Appreciative Inquiry!

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Thanks,

Susan

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P.S. to Locals: Join us for some serious pampering! I'm hosting a Stress-Less Evening on Friday, May 15, 2009, from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm in Douglassville, PA. Kick back and relax as I provide Reiki, soothing music, snacks, guided imagery, and more! Contact me ASAP for details, as I'll need your prepayment of $20 by Tuesday, May 12, 2009. Email: scleaver@dejazzd.com. Phone: 610-385-3766. It'll be fun!

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Clutter-Zapping Update, Month Five...and More

Greetings Intrepid Clutter-Zappers,

In the past month, I've logged another 11 and 1/2 hours of decluttering, for a total of 61 and 1/2 hours since 7/10/08! My goal is to reach 100 hours.

Like many things in life, it's a two-steps-forward-and-one-back process. Life is messy! I still need/want to live and work in my home and office, so I'll just have to accept those steps back, and focus on the progress I'm making.

On Wednesday (12/3), I wrote a post called "Pave the Way Now for Your 2009 Resolutions." I was quite pleased with myself for updating my plans for two goals that are well under way already...decluttering and building a business that serves from the heart. (Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to ask about the introductory rate on my new "More Than a Tutor" program for school-aged kids!)

Then, on the next day, I learned that some numbers in my routine blood work were wonky, so my body is needing even more care than I've been giving it. Following my own advice may not be so easy after all! Back to the drawing board for a game plan for honoring all of my body's needs. Being proactive and taking responsibility for my own well-being are high on my values list, so this is not negotiable!

Please share your own goal-setting adventures by leaving a comment. Here's where the "support and accountability" part comes in that I mentioned on 12/3. :-)

Thanks,
Susan

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

Pave the Way Now for Your 2009 Resolutions

Start now to set the foundation for the success of your 2009 goals! Here are a few things you can do to put yourself in the best possible position to succeed.

~Prioritize your goals, and limit your current efforts to the top two or three so you don't spread yourself too thin.

~Line up support and accountability. Depending on your goals and situation, you may need the help of a friend, family member, coach, therapist, doctor, personal trainer, dietitian, etc.

~Note the obstacles you may encounter so you are prepared to flow around them.

~Start taking excellent care of yourself physically and emotionally so you'll be up to the challenges. Set boundaries with others and eliminate at least one obligation from your schedule that is draining you.

~Prepare your mind with affirmations, imagery, and intentions related to your goals now so they will be firmly set in your mind by the New Year.

Following these suggestions will be one of the best holiday gifts you've ever given yourself!

Please let us all know how it goes by leaving a comment. We can all learn from each other!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. Ask me about my Anti-Hibernation Coaching Special that will be in effect for January and February 2009! Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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The Synergy of Your Personal Resources

Think about your personal resources in all areas. How do they work together to help you achieve your goals, creative or otherwise? For example, having lots of time is great, but you don't have the health and/or energy you need in order to use the time as you wish, you're losing out.


Apply this list of personal resources to your situation:


Structures (schedules, written goals, methods, support, accountability)

Time

Space (mental and physical)

Energy (mental and physical)

Community (connection to others, support, counsel, coaching, accountability, inter-developmental relationships)

Money

Earning Potential

Creativity

Intuition

Inspiration

Information

Education

Training

Talents

Strengths

Experience

Health

What area can you improve that will have the highest returns in other areas?

Are you willing to work on that area this week? Please give it a try! Leave a comment before you start if you'd like support and accountability. Also, let my readers and me know when you're finished so we can learn from you...and help you celebrate!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. What have you been putting off that you really love to do? Join us for the "Do What You Love" Tele-Party!

At my tele-party on August 15 (6:00pm to 9:00pm Eastern), we'll each come to the first call with the answer to this question, and the supplies we need to get started.

For me, it'll be collage. I love it, but it takes a lot of time and makes a big mess. But my soul thrives on it!

We'll be calling in at the top of each hour from our homes, offices, and studios to check in and cheer each other on.

Just contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com by Thursday, August 14 (Eastern), and I'll make sure you get the access number and code for the calls.

Your only expense is your carrier's long-distance charges for the brief calls into the teleconference line. My hosting of the tele-party is complimentary!

Your soul will thank you!

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Finding a Great Coach

Many coaches offer complimentary trial sessions. Here are some things to listen for when deciding if the coach is competent and if he/she is the right fit for you.

• He walks his talk. Is he displaying the qualities that you wish to develop in yourself?
• She is a life-long learner and is constantly developing herself further.
• Do you feel a rapport with the coach?
• A great coach will constructively help you see your blind spots.
• He will help you figure out who you need to become in order to reach your goal.
• She will point out when your tone of voice, etc., do not match what you are saying.
• He will help you see signs in yourself that are coming from unrecognized sources, ie., signs of burn-out or a life that's not in line with your values.
• A great coach does not do the work for you. She can guide, inspire, and encourage you, but the goals, strategies, and action plans must come from you in order to be right for you.
• She understands the holistic nature of life and will help you work through the obstacles in the other areas that are blocking you from your goals.
• He will propose challenges for you to accept, reject, or modify.

You may not see all of these displayed in one session, but this list can help you clarify what you're looking for in a coach, whether for creativity coaching or coaching in other areas.

If you'd like to try a complimentary session with me, email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com, and we can set up a tele-coaching session about creativity or most anything else!

Be well,

Susan

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Wanted: Consultant, Therapist, or Coach?

Confused about who does what? Read on:

You'll Benefit from Hiring a Great Consultant If:

• You want someone to step in and tell you what needs to be done and then to step back and let you do it.

You'll Benefit from Hiring a Great Therapist If:

• The weight of your emotional concerns is preventing you from taking action, being creative, and/or enjoying life. Call one today; you have suffered long enough!

You'll Benefit from Hiring a Great Coach If:

• Aside from the stress of your current situation (transitioning, feeling stuck, etc.), you are in reasonable emotional and physical health so that you can carry out the goals (creative or otherwise) you'll be setting with the guidance of a coach.
• You're not sure what/who you need. A coach can help you sort it out.

If I Can Help...

• Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a complimentary trial coaching tele-session!

To your success,

Susan

P.S. From time to time, I would like to feature some great role models for the creative life on this blog. To nominate someone, please check with them first, and then email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com. Thanks!

Castles in the Air

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them." --Henry David Thoreau

This is one of the greatest lessons I learned in my coach training! I wish I'd known it when I was a freelance children's writer. From my viewpoint now as a coach and Reiki Master, I can see how I failed to provide a solid foundation for myself. I did well in terms of learning the ropes and staying up with changes in the field. I knew the foundational stuff for my sole proprietorship, but I forgot to take care of the proprietor!

Soon I became the weakest link in my own chain, often dealing with creative blocks and stress-related illnesses that led me away from being the "principal" of my business and toward being the "principle" reason it failed!

I did not take care of myself physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or energetically! It was like walking on stilts, which was certainly not a firm foundation for my "castle"!

Even if your creative activity is a hobby rather than a business, if you've been walking on stilts, where are you going to find the energy and inspiration to create? Keeping your values in mind, take a look at these three areas:

Simplify

• What routines can you institute to lessen your stress?
• What positive energy resources can you cultivate for yourself? Maybe a walk in nature?
• What boundaries do you need to set with others to lessen your stress?

Clarify

• What strengths can you leverage?
• What kind of people do you want to surround yourself with?

Amplify

• What is your vision or mission for your life, and how does your art fit in?
• What goals support your vision or mission?
• What's one small step you can take today to start building a firm foundation?

Please share your comments on the step you choose and your results to inspire the rest of us!

Thanks,

Susan

P.S. Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a complimentary introductory tele-coaching session for more help on this topic or most others!