Bring Your Own Bliss (BYOB), Part One

(Note:  I'd like to acknowledge and thank my community members, shown at the right!)

On your travels through life, I'd like to encourage you to consider a new twist on the old acronym, "BYOB."  For this post, instead of "Bring your own bottle,"  try this one: "Bring your own bliss!"  

OK, OK...if you insist on a mixed drink, you can stir in some gratitude with the bliss!  (Sliced fruit and a paper umbrella are optional.)  

Photo (c) iStockphoto/THEPALMER

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I want to show you another way to look at the Law of Attraction (like attracts like), by using the popular "be, do, have" model.  Bliss and gratitude are major catalysts in this process, so bring them with you!

Many people get the order of "be, do, have" mixed up, and it makes them feel frustrated.  A common mix-up, especially for those with "Type A" personalities, is "Do, do, do, have, be." 

As you might guess, this model is a major cause of burn-out, and it has a  feeling of striving.  Striving will send the Law of Attraction away from alignment with these folks.  It's as if they are saying, "I have to do it all myself, and how can I take bliss along if I don't have it yet?"

Well, of course they won't feel blissful while working fifty hours a week or more!  They need to slow down, watch for help from the Universe, and dig deep in their mental pockets for their bliss. Gratitude can help them remember where they put it.

"If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn."  ~~Charlie Parker

Photo (c) iStockphoto/Svermir

'More on this topic next time...BYOB!

With a double shot of gratitude for you,
Susan

The Great-Life Advocate (TM)

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~~Odds and Ends~~

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Denise Kappa



What I Bring to Our Coaching Relationship, Part 4

Parts 1, 2, and 3 are with my posts dated 11/17/12, 12/22/12, and 1/27/13.

Today's topic: I assist you in creating action plans that will carry you forward between our coaching sessions.

*I provide structure. 

*We brainstorm together for options.

*We put together a list of resources related to your goal.

*I assist you in developing effective strategies and results.


Who do you want to become?

If you're looking for support from someone who's not afraid to say, "I dare ya!", then let's talk!  Email me here to set up a complimentary exploratory session by phone or in person. 

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A Word to the Wise

My post, "Dr. Amen's ANT's," has been on my top-ten most popular posts list for well over a year, according to my Blogger stats!  Check it out by going to 11/17/08 in the creative4life archives.  

Dr. Daniel Amen has at least four books published, and he's been featured on special programs for PBS.  Dr. Amen is a respected expert on the relationship between the brain and behavior.

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are (c) Susan Cleaver.***


***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, at www.tcnetwork.org.***

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Befriending a Better Habit

Energy-Draining Bad Habits
The results of a bad or outgrown habit are like a swarm of gnats...distracting and annoying! The energy it takes to shoo them repeatedly away adds up over time and raises our stress levels. Yet like gnats, bad habits can be very persistent, as we all know!

I'll use one of mine as an example. I was a life-long producer of clutter who was also great at maintaining it! Ugh! In the past several months, I've finally gotten a handle on it. It's a lifestyle change that I have adopted, and I'm keeping a structure in place to assure that the new habit sticks.

Speaking of Structure...
...create some for yourself. Set up some way to be accountable to others for the changes you want to make. Choose your accountability partners carefully, because you will need gentle support and encouragement from them as well.

I continue to receive support and accountability from my family, friends, and coaching colleagues. Last fall I even went public here on my blog with a decluttering challenge that I had set for myself!

Make It Fun!
I know...this is where you're thinking, "This woman is nuts!" But give it a try. You might pair the new activities required with something you enjoy, such as listening to music.

Make yourself a chart so you can visually track your progress. Use colors and symbols that make you smile.

For my clutter-zapping and prevention, I set a goal of 15 minutes a day in four areas for a total of 1 hour a day. This keeps me on track, and the rewards of not having to deal with clutter or cleaning much during the rest of the time are well worth it.

And I do track my time on paper. If I'm out of town for the day, I make up the time later.

The Key to Motivation
O.K., even if you don't think you can find any way to make a new habit fun, ask yourself this: "How will this new habit support my larger vision?" This question could make a crucial difference to someone who, for example, is setting out to change from a procrastinator to someone who is proactive about getting things done.

When I saw decluttering as something I "should" do, I couldn't muster up the resolve to see it through. As my friend Sally says, "Don't should on yourself!"

Now, I see life much more holistically, and I know that staying organized affects the Feng Shui of my office and home, as well as my personal energy. I also see organization as an important element of my self-care. And it's important to me to be a great role model for clients, participants, and readers.

Some coaches don't discuss topics they are still struggling with because it makes them feel out of integrity. My feeling is, however, that if someone else can learn from something I know but have not yet been able to fully implement, why not share it with them? To stay in integrity, I just admit right up front that I'm still working on the issue myself.

These days, with the clutter issue, I can honestly say that I have a handle on it. There are a few drawers and closets that still need some work, but now that my new habit is in place, they too will soon be more orderly!

Best of Luck as You Develop New Habits that Will Serve You Better for a Lifetime! Please share your successes, setbacks, and questions with my other readers and me.

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. Shameless Plug: Contact me to set up a complimentary trial coaching session by phone or in person at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

***Member of TriCounty Community Network, a local human services resource at www.TCNetwork.info.

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Structure and Accountability Trump Will Power!

I know that my creativity needs elbow room, and that keeping my home and office environments in an organized state that is pleasing to me is good Feng Shui. But maintaining the level of organization that I want has always been a challenge for me. I'm doing better, but I still have times when I get really frustrated with myself around this.

Not only will I have a better chance of succeeding if I report my project and progress here on the blog, but you can use it for an example for creating your own way to accomplish what you want to do.

So here's my plan. I know that structure and accountability trump will power. So here's where you come in. I've set forth a three-month challenge for myself and I'm "going public" with it here for accountability. I'll report my progress on this blog once a month during the project: Monday, August 11, Wednesday, Sept. 10, and, finally, Friday, Oct. 11. There! Now I've put myself on the hook, but in a good way! :-) I trust you'll post nudging comments if I slip up!

Here are the details of my plan: For 50 days out of those three months, I'll invest 2 hours daily on the clearing, organizing, and optimizing of my immediate indoor environments (home and office). I also need to find ways to easily maintain the systems/environments I create. Please come back to cheer on my efforts (or to frown upon my slip-ups)!

What are you not moving along steadily/quickly enough that you could use some accountability, structure, and support around? I invite you to make a plan and write it in the comments section so that we can all be there for you! We'll all learn from it!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. To receive the alter ego to this blog, "Susan, Unplugged...Your 'Slow-Tech' Source for Creative and Healthy Living Tips," with my compliments, just send your snail-mail address to me at scleaver@dejazzd.com. If you live outside the continental US, I'll ask you to cover the cost of the postage.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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What's Holding You Back?

Check out these creativity squashers and their corresponding remedies:

Creativity Squashers-----------------Creativity Accelerators

"Yeah, but...."--------------------------"What if...."

"It hasn't been done before...."-------"Then I'll have to be first!"

"It's all been done before."-----------------"I'll find a new twist!"

Motivation from outside you.--------------Motivation from inside.

Too much or too little structure.-----------Just enough structure to-----------------------------------------------------hang your thoughts on.

Depression.-------------------------------Strong emotional health.

Anger or resentment.---------------------Forgiveness and letting go.

Fear.-------------------------------------Do it anyway.

Trying to please everyone.------------Being authentic.

Hidden pay-offs for staying stuck.-----Expose them and weigh them------------------------------------------------against the pay-offs-----------------------------------------------------------for letting yourself be creative.

Burn-out.--------------------------------Self-care.

Ignore your intuition.-------------------Invite your intuition.

Standard outlining.---------------------Tony Buzan's Mind Maps (R).

Perfectionism.--------------------------Self-acceptance.

Striving.---------------------------------Playfulness.

Having something to prove.-----------Having something to discover.


So go out and discover! What if...?

Please keep my other readers and me posted on your progress!

Be well,
Susan

P.S. To those in the greater Philadelphia, PA, area:

On Saturday, April 12, I'll be exhibiting and offering free Reiki samples at the Boyertown Community Health and Wellness Fair from 10:00 am to 1:00 pm. The fair will be held at the Boyertown Area Sr. High School, 120 Monroe Street. And there is no charge to attend! Stop by my table to chat, pick up some info on "stressing less," and try some Reiki!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Creative Community

Diversity and Choice

I'd like to start with a few things that creative community is NOT. First of all, it is not limited to what we normally consider the "arts." Putting together a rewarding life for yourself is the creative framework for all else that you do! This can include the arts, but could also include many other things such as parenting or running a business.

Secondly, creative community is not limited to traditional networking at breakfast meetings, etc. Some folks love these and find them very helpful. Others find them to be an unnatural fit for their style.

Technology's Role

If you found your way to this blog, you probably already know what a boon the Internet has been for networking and support communities of all types. And you can often enter into joint ventures with no concern for your JV partner's geographic location!

Modern phone technology, which allows for inexpensive conference calling, can be used for all sorts of group experiences, including brainstorming, classes, Q and A, interviews, and demonstrations.

The Right Fit

Having fun loosens you up and opens the door to your creativity, so be sure to choose a community that provides this for you. Forget about what you've heard you "should" be doing, and involve yourself with others in ways that you feel enthusiastic about.

What I love about community is the amazing synergy that comes out of a group in which the individuals have moved past "What's in it for me?" and have shifted as a group to "What's in it for us and for those we serve?"

Other Things to Love About Creative Community

• companionship
• advice and mentoring
• circulation of information, methods, ideas, and techniques
• feedback
• encouragement
• inspiration
• intuitive input from others
• a safety net
• a venue for beta testing
• sounding boards

Dig-In Days

My friend and fellow entrepreneur, Mary Beth Krawchuk and I set several hours a week aside to "dig in" to our work while supplying structure, accountability, focus, and support for each other by phone at the beginning and end of each work hour. Many months ago when we first began, Mary Beth said, "I got more done on this project in this hour than I have in the past month!"

Give it a try with a friend or email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com. I can always use another accountability buddy!

Start Our Own Community? Why Not?!

Please scan this post again to see what kinds of support you need and how you might support others. Please leave a comment or email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com with your ideas, questions, quandaries, etc. My goal is to have creative4life become a nurturing community for those of us in any creative arena. (That is, just about all of us!)

Thank you,

Susan

Embrace Your Unique Way of Seeing the World

"Rely on yourself,

and be true to who you are.

What's unique about you

is what will take you far."

--from the children's book, Unstoppable Me!, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, with Kristina Tracy

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I agree. Please stop trying to fit in! We need your unique perspective and thought processes. Yes, even if your perspective has been pathologized as ADD, dyslexia or some other label.

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Our educational system and work culture are designed to fit the majority. Just because these institutions have not fully learned how to bring out our best doesn't mean there's something wrong with us! So if the mainstream "operating system" doesn't help you to be your best, create your own.

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This requires the courage and self-confidence to dance to your own drummer. Divergent perception and thinking styles often show up in the most creative among us. Therefore, we don't want to root them out and eliminate them. Rather, we need to learn to mitigate the downsides and leverage the upsides of these styles.

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This process may sometimes include the help of an M.D., therapist, family member, employer, friend, and/or coach. To set up a free trial coaching tele-session, contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com.

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Here I'll be specifically discussing the traits associated with high sensitivity and ADD as examples, because they're the ones I've had personal experience with and have studied the most about. For an expert's view, check out the resources I'm including for each.

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High Sensitivity: Brilliance or Burn-Out?

See the work of expert Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person. She explains the trait (which is present in 15 to 20% of humans and animals) and offers great tips for living well with it.

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Fortunately, this trait has not been officially pathologized, although those of us who grew up with it may have been labeled by peers as "worry warts," "scaredy-cats," "namby-pambies," "cream puffs," or "shy loners."

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Highly sensitive people (HSP's) feel things very deeply, take in more details, and tend to be highly intuitive. The upside is that these characteristics put us easily in touch with our creativity.

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To others, however, we look like we are processing more slowly than they are, but actually we are processing more deeply. This also makes us look even more hesitant and easily alarmed than we really are. You might say that non-HSP's are skiing along the surface of the water while HSP's are scuba diving.

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The deep processing of HSP's leaves us vulnerable to sensory overload. It's essential for HSP's to set ample boundaries, to take extremely good care of ourselves, and to speak up for our needs. For me, this includes rarely watching TV or reading newspapers. I have to be careful about the amount of stimulation coming through, or I end up with burn-out.

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ADD It Up: Pathology or Purpose?

For excellent coverage of ADD, see the work of Edward Hallowell, co-author of Driven to Distraction.

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For better or worse, ADD has been officially pathologized, but not all experts agree on this.

Maybe folks with ADD seem to be "all over the place" because that's where the creative ideas are! There's a time and place for linear thinking, but when you're trying to be creative, it's more likely to just get in the way.

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I like to think of the ADD mind as a kaleidoscope, reaching out in all directions to form new patterns. The lateral thinking that comes so easily to those with ADD has been written about extensively by Edward De Bono for anyone to apply. However, I have seen resistance to his methods from highly linear thinkers. This doesn't make him or them wrong; it just points again to the natural differences in thinking and perceptual styles that add to the richness of mankind's accomplishments.

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If you have ADD, take a look at what kinds of structure, support, and accountability work best for you and implement those into your daily life. I find the structure of doing these weekly posts helpful for me. And in preparing the material for the posts, it helps me to use large index cards so that I can freely change the order of my points or add to them.

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It's also helpful to team up with an accountability buddy. This works great for me. If you're interested in mutual support by phone as we each tackle our projects, email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a time.

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High Sensitivity and ADD: Kissing Cousins?

The more I learn about these two perceptual styles, the more overlap I see. As research continues in these areas, I would not be surprised to hear that they are closely linked.

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In any event, I believe that perceptual styles that deviate from the norm and the extra effort it takes to function in our culture with them result in a lot of "late bloomers." However, those of us who learn to compensate without attempting to conform are richly rewarded!

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Happy blooming,

Susan