Teach Others to Treat You Well

Here Are a Few Questions to Consider....

~How do you treat yourself ? Teach others by modeling care and respect for yourself.

~Assertiveness: Do you speak up for yourself clearly and directly? Do you stand your ground when being pressured?

~What vibes are you sending out? Others pick up on these whether they realize it or not...and whether you realize it or not! if you're conflicted by limiting beliefs about your own worth, that will show up in your interactions with others!

Write out your out-dated and flat-out wrong beliefs about yourself. Then go back and change them to fit the person you are now...or the person you want to become.


Please take a minute to leave a comment so we can all learn from your experience and insight!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. 'Need more assistance with this? I'm offering...

"Respect 101"

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...a complimentary coaching session where we'll discuss the questions above in more depth as they relate to YOU.

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Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a session by phone or in person!

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P.P.S. for Locals: A hot topic for summer...

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"Keeping Your Cool"

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~~A new workshop for finding answers to anger~~

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Wednesday, July 29, 2009 ~~ 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm in Douglassville, PA

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Contact me soon at scleaver@dejazzd.com for details, as I'll need your prepayment of $20 by Thursday, July 23, 2009.

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In this workshop you will learn about...

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~Using anger as nature intended~

~What anger is NOT~

~The holistic effects of how you handle your anger~

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'Not local? If there's enough interest, I'll run a teleclass also. Let me know at scleaver@dejazzd.com. Thanks!

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, a human services resource at http://www.tcnetwork.info/.***

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Prolonged Denial: A Hidden Source of Trouble

Denial...it's so easy to see in others. By definition, we have a very difficult time seeing it in ourselves.

Useful denial is like useful anger; they're both designed by nature to be temporary. Temporary anger nudges us to take constructive action. Temporary denial protects us from being hit by all the emotional pain of loss at one time.

Prolonged denial, though, becomes a nasty little gremlin that really messes with your mind and life. Because we can't see the denial itself, we must look at the symptoms. Here are a few to consider:

~Creative Blocks. Chances are, they aren't caused by laziness or lack of something to express!

~Free-Floating Anxiety is probably a misnomer in most cases. We don't see the source, so we assume there isn't one. Long-term denial may well be the culprit in certain situations.

~Free-Floating Anger is another symptom. Chronic bouts of unexplainable or inappropriate anger are like the release value on a pressure cooker.

TV personality and author Art Linkletter tells a story about a store clerk who looked like she was about to snap at anyone (maybe everyone...) who walked by. Mr. Linkletter asked her, "Are you angry?" She answered, "No, of course I'm not angry!" To this he replied, "Well, you'd better tell your face!"

~Exhaustion...physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. It takes a lot of energy to suppress emotions, which sometimes leads to...

~Depression. And again, it may be difficult to pin down the cause if it's related to chronic denial.

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Resources for Help

~Self-Help. If the problem isn't too deeply entrenched, you might be able to gain clarity through journaling.

~Friendly Help. Ask someone you trust to give you objective feedback about what you might not be acknowledging.

~Therapy may be needed to rout out deep-seated denial and work through it.

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Then What?

~Forgiveness and/or self-forgiveness. This is easier said than done, and it takes time. A therapist can help you develop this skill set.

~Redesign Your Life. Prolonged denial and its symptoms can take you way off course in life. When you have worked through the issues, you will be ready to construct a lifestyle more to your liking. A great life coach may be just the catalyst you need!

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Shameless Plug Time: Contact me for a complimentary exploratory coaching session by phone or in person! Email: scleaver@dejazzd.com.

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~Shameless Request Time: Please comment on your experience with this topic! Questions are welcome, too.

Thanks,
Susan

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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What's Holding You Back?

Check out these creativity squashers and their corresponding remedies:

Creativity Squashers-----------------Creativity Accelerators

"Yeah, but...."--------------------------"What if...."

"It hasn't been done before...."-------"Then I'll have to be first!"

"It's all been done before."-----------------"I'll find a new twist!"

Motivation from outside you.--------------Motivation from inside.

Too much or too little structure.-----------Just enough structure to-----------------------------------------------------hang your thoughts on.

Depression.-------------------------------Strong emotional health.

Anger or resentment.---------------------Forgiveness and letting go.

Fear.-------------------------------------Do it anyway.

Trying to please everyone.------------Being authentic.

Hidden pay-offs for staying stuck.-----Expose them and weigh them------------------------------------------------against the pay-offs-----------------------------------------------------------for letting yourself be creative.

Burn-out.--------------------------------Self-care.

Ignore your intuition.-------------------Invite your intuition.

Standard outlining.---------------------Tony Buzan's Mind Maps (R).

Perfectionism.--------------------------Self-acceptance.

Striving.---------------------------------Playfulness.

Having something to prove.-----------Having something to discover.


So go out and discover! What if...?

Please keep my other readers and me posted on your progress!

Be well,
Susan

P.S. To those in the greater Philadelphia, PA, area:

On Saturday, April 12, I'll be exhibiting and offering free Reiki samples at the Boyertown Community Health and Wellness Fair from 10:00 am to 1:00 pm. The fair will be held at the Boyertown Area Sr. High School, 120 Monroe Street. And there is no charge to attend! Stop by my table to chat, pick up some info on "stressing less," and try some Reiki!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Remember "Max Headroom"?

Max was a computer-generated TV character who sounded like he needed a defrag. Sometimes I feel like my head needs a defrag! How can we restore our "maximum headroom" with all that's going on up there?

May I suggest some recycling? For example, process:

• worry into actionable concern
• anger into corrective action
• guilt into remediation
• doubt into reasonable risk
• judgments into observations
• willy-nilly distractions into a queue to be handled during your lower-energy times of the day
• low-priority tasks into delegatable, delayable, or deletable tasks

Please leave us a comment if you're making "headway" with your "headroom", and how that creates space for your creativity to flourish!

Thanks,

Susan

P.S. to folks in Southeastern PA: My workshop topics for the next two weeks are "Simplifying Your Life, "Making Discovery Boards," and "Embracing Imperfection." Follow this link to the Boyertown Arts & Activities Alliance: http://www.boyertownpa.org/News/1-23.AAA-Activities-nwMFT_37.aspx for details!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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