Prolonged Denial: A Hidden Source of Trouble

Denial...it's so easy to see in others. By definition, we have a very difficult time seeing it in ourselves.

Useful denial is like useful anger; they're both designed by nature to be temporary. Temporary anger nudges us to take constructive action. Temporary denial protects us from being hit by all the emotional pain of loss at one time.

Prolonged denial, though, becomes a nasty little gremlin that really messes with your mind and life. Because we can't see the denial itself, we must look at the symptoms. Here are a few to consider:

~Creative Blocks. Chances are, they aren't caused by laziness or lack of something to express!

~Free-Floating Anxiety is probably a misnomer in most cases. We don't see the source, so we assume there isn't one. Long-term denial may well be the culprit in certain situations.

~Free-Floating Anger is another symptom. Chronic bouts of unexplainable or inappropriate anger are like the release value on a pressure cooker.

TV personality and author Art Linkletter tells a story about a store clerk who looked like she was about to snap at anyone (maybe everyone...) who walked by. Mr. Linkletter asked her, "Are you angry?" She answered, "No, of course I'm not angry!" To this he replied, "Well, you'd better tell your face!"

~Exhaustion...physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. It takes a lot of energy to suppress emotions, which sometimes leads to...

~Depression. And again, it may be difficult to pin down the cause if it's related to chronic denial.

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Resources for Help

~Self-Help. If the problem isn't too deeply entrenched, you might be able to gain clarity through journaling.

~Friendly Help. Ask someone you trust to give you objective feedback about what you might not be acknowledging.

~Therapy may be needed to rout out deep-seated denial and work through it.

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Then What?

~Forgiveness and/or self-forgiveness. This is easier said than done, and it takes time. A therapist can help you develop this skill set.

~Redesign Your Life. Prolonged denial and its symptoms can take you way off course in life. When you have worked through the issues, you will be ready to construct a lifestyle more to your liking. A great life coach may be just the catalyst you need!

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Shameless Plug Time: Contact me for a complimentary exploratory coaching session by phone or in person! Email: scleaver@dejazzd.com.

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~Shameless Request Time: Please comment on your experience with this topic! Questions are welcome, too.

Thanks,
Susan

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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What's Holding You Back?

Check out these creativity squashers and their corresponding remedies:

Creativity Squashers-----------------Creativity Accelerators

"Yeah, but...."--------------------------"What if...."

"It hasn't been done before...."-------"Then I'll have to be first!"

"It's all been done before."-----------------"I'll find a new twist!"

Motivation from outside you.--------------Motivation from inside.

Too much or too little structure.-----------Just enough structure to-----------------------------------------------------hang your thoughts on.

Depression.-------------------------------Strong emotional health.

Anger or resentment.---------------------Forgiveness and letting go.

Fear.-------------------------------------Do it anyway.

Trying to please everyone.------------Being authentic.

Hidden pay-offs for staying stuck.-----Expose them and weigh them------------------------------------------------against the pay-offs-----------------------------------------------------------for letting yourself be creative.

Burn-out.--------------------------------Self-care.

Ignore your intuition.-------------------Invite your intuition.

Standard outlining.---------------------Tony Buzan's Mind Maps (R).

Perfectionism.--------------------------Self-acceptance.

Striving.---------------------------------Playfulness.

Having something to prove.-----------Having something to discover.


So go out and discover! What if...?

Please keep my other readers and me posted on your progress!

Be well,
Susan

P.S. To those in the greater Philadelphia, PA, area:

On Saturday, April 12, I'll be exhibiting and offering free Reiki samples at the Boyertown Community Health and Wellness Fair from 10:00 am to 1:00 pm. The fair will be held at the Boyertown Area Sr. High School, 120 Monroe Street. And there is no charge to attend! Stop by my table to chat, pick up some info on "stressing less," and try some Reiki!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Closed Hearts Shut Out Creativity

When Do We Close Our Hearts?
We close our hearts in order to prevent further pain when we have been emotionally injured. But like denial, closing the heart is meant to be only a temporary arrangement while we set up the healing process.

Why Does A Closed Heart Block Creativity?
Over time, a closed heart robs us of our enjoyment of life, our playfulness, our ability to trust, our creativity and our intuition. It leaves us in a state of disconnection from Spirit, other people, and ourselves. We feel empty and tired. It can even lead to depression.

Walling off our hearts is an all-or-nothing deal, like general anesthesia. All welcome sensations are blocked out along with the unwelcome ones. Joy, creativity, and even colors are muted. Negative emotions, which are designed to stay in motion, get stuck. Instead of being the useful messengers they are meant to be, they overstay their welcome and can even make us sick.

How Can We Tear Down The Wall, Open Our Hearts, and Start Feeling Again?
Usually we have to do this brick by brick. Even in the case of a sudden catharsis, it takes time to integrate a new way of being. Coaching can often help with this, but if the problem is deeply entrenched, do yourself a favor and find a great therapist. If you're not sure what kind of help you need, I can help you sort it out in a complimentary trial coaching tele-session; email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com.

Part of opening our hearts is learning to forgive ourselves and others. Forgiveness has been given a bad name because people think it means that we have given in and are going back for more bad treatment. But forgiveness means releasing ourselves from the energy-draining situation in our own minds. It does not always mean reconciliation with the difficult person.

Placing blame leaves us powerless when it leads to feelings of resignation and victimization. We must take responsibility for our responses and for whatever we can do to improve the situation, whether we are to blame or not. As for our own mistakes, we can use the energy they stir up to learn from them and correct them instead of wasting it on beating ourselves up.

As we open our hearts, we can test the creative waters now and then to measure our progress. Here's the good news: Just as the closing off process affects us holistically, so will the opening process! Our general outlooks will improve, along with our energy and creative output levels. Unexplained physical problems may bow out, as well, once we "get" the messages they were sending!

Closing our hearts means closing ourselves off to a full life. What will you do for yourself today to let your heart help you express all of who you are? I'd love to see your answers in the comments section!

To your happiness,
Susan