Prolonged Denial: A Hidden Source of Trouble

Denial...it's so easy to see in others. By definition, we have a very difficult time seeing it in ourselves.

Useful denial is like useful anger; they're both designed by nature to be temporary. Temporary anger nudges us to take constructive action. Temporary denial protects us from being hit by all the emotional pain of loss at one time.

Prolonged denial, though, becomes a nasty little gremlin that really messes with your mind and life. Because we can't see the denial itself, we must look at the symptoms. Here are a few to consider:

~Creative Blocks. Chances are, they aren't caused by laziness or lack of something to express!

~Free-Floating Anxiety is probably a misnomer in most cases. We don't see the source, so we assume there isn't one. Long-term denial may well be the culprit in certain situations.

~Free-Floating Anger is another symptom. Chronic bouts of unexplainable or inappropriate anger are like the release value on a pressure cooker.

TV personality and author Art Linkletter tells a story about a store clerk who looked like she was about to snap at anyone (maybe everyone...) who walked by. Mr. Linkletter asked her, "Are you angry?" She answered, "No, of course I'm not angry!" To this he replied, "Well, you'd better tell your face!"

~Exhaustion...physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. It takes a lot of energy to suppress emotions, which sometimes leads to...

~Depression. And again, it may be difficult to pin down the cause if it's related to chronic denial.

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Resources for Help

~Self-Help. If the problem isn't too deeply entrenched, you might be able to gain clarity through journaling.

~Friendly Help. Ask someone you trust to give you objective feedback about what you might not be acknowledging.

~Therapy may be needed to rout out deep-seated denial and work through it.

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Then What?

~Forgiveness and/or self-forgiveness. This is easier said than done, and it takes time. A therapist can help you develop this skill set.

~Redesign Your Life. Prolonged denial and its symptoms can take you way off course in life. When you have worked through the issues, you will be ready to construct a lifestyle more to your liking. A great life coach may be just the catalyst you need!

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Shameless Plug Time: Contact me for a complimentary exploratory coaching session by phone or in person! Email: scleaver@dejazzd.com.

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~Shameless Request Time: Please comment on your experience with this topic! Questions are welcome, too.

Thanks,
Susan

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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It's Fall. Do You Know Where Your Creativity Is?

Seasonal Affective Disorder and the Creative Mind
Our thoughts and our biochemistry are so closely entwined, it's no wonder that SAD can leave you wondering if you have a creative bone left in your body! Maybe, like me, you sometimes feel that the bears have the right idea about coping with the darker seasons.

An inability to take in enough light through your eyes during shorter, grayer days can affect your biochemistry and make you feel like a wet noodle for months if you are susceptible. And while you may be able to slog through your day job, the muse is not fond of slogging and will likely leave you feeling about as creative as a kitchen sponge.

Symptoms Are Compounded by Misconceptions and Stigmas
Common symptoms of SAD include depression, irritability, carb cravings, fatigue, sleepiness, and a lack of motivation. Friends and family who aren't affected may wonder why you don't just "snap out of it." As if you wouldn't if you could!

And then there are the stigmas around behavioral health issues and asking for help. Ugh!

Help Is Available
There are lots of resources available today to help you deal with SAD:

• Self-help tips abound.
• Specially-designed light boxes are available.
• Professional help can be very valuable. Therapy and/or medication may be called for in some instances.

In addition to using these resources, I also have an accountability buddy. We provide gentle structure for each other by setting up several hours a week when we call each other to declare what we are going to work on and then what we have completed.

The encouragement and feeling of connection that we provide for each other is very helpful, too. It keeps up our motivation, and we feel good about our accomplishments, which leads to more motivation!

Your accountability buddy need not suffer from SAD to benefit from this arrangement. This idea has been used in the coaching community for years, often in groups on conference calls.

If you're interested in having such a buddy, email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com, and I will make every effort to match you up with someone. If there is sufficient interest in doing this in a group, I would be glad to host the call.

Coaching can also provide accountability, motivation, and encouragement. Feel free to email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a complimentary trial tele-session.

I'm not willing to let SAD rob me of a full, happy, and creative life. How about you?

To your fulfillment and good health,

Susan