Leadership: Walking Our Talk

Some of you may remember my theme from 2011, which was "Audacious Self-Care."  Well, I guess I teach what I need to learn...when I need to learn it!

The last quarter of 2010 (when I picked the topic) and all of 2011 offered some very difficult challenges for my family and me, so putting reminders about self-care in this blog throughout the year was helpful to me.  Then things caught up with me, and I had to stop blogging for a while in favor of my self-care.  The irony was not lost on me!

I apologize for disappearing, and I will finish covering all the sub-topics of self-care that I promised my readers a year ago. Thank you for your patience.

Before we move on to talking about leadership, I would also like to announce that I've expanded my business name from the same as my name to...(drum roll please)...

Mind Spa Coaching and Reiki

with Susan Cleaver

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Now for today's topic:

Leadership: Walking our Talk





Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Mats Persson



Last spring, on 6/3/11, I wrote a post about the value of personal leadership in preparation for this one on walking our talk as leaders.  Long-term success in leading others is based on how you manage yourself.

In the photo above, one of the components is "Lead by Example."  That would be problem if the "example," or role model, had the basics of his own life in disarray!  Poor role models either forget this, or they think it won't show.

For example, the poor role model may think it doesn't matter if their home office is messy and disorganized, because his followers never see it.  Well, they do see it...in the role model's stress level, even if his desk at work looks great.  What's more is that they can feel it on an energetic level, and they won't feel motivated by the leader.

This concept also applies to the leader's stewardship in these areas:

*integrity

*health

*finances

*lifestyle

*relationships

Think of this as if it were a pillow sham.  It looks great on the outside.  But if the pillow inside is filled with stones, it's useless to followers and leaders alike.  No wonder so many people come home from work with a headache!

Here's to great leadership,

Susan

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Jacob Wackerhausen

**Written material in all posts of this blog is (c) Susan Cleaver**

**Member of TCN, a local non-profit organization at www.tcnetwork.org**  

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/CGinspiration

Stop by my Exhibit for a Coaching or Reiki Sample!

Here are the three local Health Fairs where I'll be exhibiting:

Saturday, 3/31/12, The Boyertown Health Fair

Wednesday, 4/4/12, Health, Fitness, and Safety Fair, Blue Bell, PA

Friday, 4/20/12, Healthy Lifestyles Expo, Pottstown, PA

To the best of my knowledge, there will be NO entry fee for any of these three events.  For more information, contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com.



Please Join Us for the Resolution Revolution!

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Marek Uliasz

A Call to Action: Prepare Now for Your 2011 Goals...

And Help Others Do the Same

"Isolation is the dream killer," says career coach Barbara Sher. So I propose we work together on our resolutions for the New Year! You don't have to sign up for anything, and you needn't spend any money for it. It's just this simple: if you want to join us, you're in!

Just watch this blog and/or my snail-mail newsletter from now until the end of 2011. My other readers and I would love to assist you with your problems and questions, and to cheer for your victories!

You can join in the conversation by commenting on the blog, calling me (610-385-3766), or by email at scleaver@dejazzd.com. I'm not harvesting contact information here...you can even send in your comments or questions by snail mail with no return address if you wish! (Susan Cleaver, P.O. Box 586, Douglassville, PA 19518-0586).

This is a stand-alone, complimentary program that does not require attendance at any fee-based programs that I may offer on the topic.

Many of you are familiar with SMART goals, I'm sure, and if we add a few more elements to this system, it becomes even more effective. I call it WAPP:

~Work with a group for encouragement, accountability, and fun!

~Always state your goals in terms of what you do want, not what you don't want.

~Prepare your goals ahead of time so you can work out any wrinkles in your plan.

~Put your goals in writing.

Now let's take a look at the SMART goal process:

My goal: 2011 will be a year of Audacious Self-Care for 200 or more people who will take successful action related to what I'll be writing and speaking about throughout the year. These people will notify me about their successful action so I can keep track of how close I am to my goal.

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What's your Audacious Self-Care Goal?

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How is my goal SPECIFIC?

~I will share my Audacious Self-Care Message at five or more events that I will lead or participate in .

~I'll write 25 or more posts on this blog that will help others with their Audacious Self-Care.

~I'll write 12 or more articles in my newletters this year on the topic of Audacious Self-Care.

~I intend to have a record of 200 or more anecdotes from readers, clients, and participants that explain the Audacious Self-Care actions they took and how they helped.

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How is your goal SPECIFIC?

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How is my goal MEASURABLE?

~The articles and posts mentioned above will each be 50 words or longer.

~The minimums mentioned for the posts, articles, and anecdotes in the section above will provide clear ways to measure my progress as well as the achievement of my goal.

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How is your goal MEASURABLE?

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How is my goal ATTAINABLE?

~My goal is doable with a bit of a stretch. A little stretching is good!

~Putting numbers to most of the sub-goals was not to difficult, because I had past performance to guide me.

~The tricky one was the one where I'm intending 200 or more reports back from folks. I have not made a request like this before, and the goal requires actions that are out of my direct control. Like Scarlotte O'Hara said, "I'm counting on the kindness of strangers [and friends.]"

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How is your goal ATTAINABLE?

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How is my goal RELEVANT?

~This goal supports the personal growth and happiness of the those I'll be able to reach with it (including me).

~This goal supports my values, and I'm excited about getting started. Now that's AUDACIOUS!

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How is your goal RELEVANT?

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How is my goal TIME-BOUND?

~The actions and results will take place during the Year 2011.

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How is your goal TIME-BOUND?

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"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom."

~~Victor Frankl

Let's help each other choose the powerful responses to our resolutions in 2011!

Thank you,

Susan

***Gift certificates are available for Coaching and/or Reiki. Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or call 610-385-3766.***

***All of Susan's posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

***Active member of the TriCounty Community Network, where we're "partnering to improve health, social and environmental conditions" in our area. www.TCNetwork.org ***

Stop Striving and Start Thriving!

Here are five reasons to stop striving:

1. Striving creates a feeling of lack. It puts us out of alignment with what we want, because it has us focus on what we don't have.


2. Striving keeps us living for the future. We lose touch with mindfulness and gratitude for what we already have.


3. Striving is very poor self-care. It can burn us out.


4. Striving turns other off.


5. Striving blocks creativity!

Sure, we can have goals and move toward them. We just need to leave out the hurry, worry, pining, pushing, and struggling that striving fosters. We can let inspiration gently take us by the hand and lead us to our goals.

All my best,

Susan

P.S. Does this complimentary intro session have your name on it?

***Plan B: Transforming Transition***

In this session, we'll strategize for your smooth transition to Plan B with...

The Five R's of Transformation:

1) Regroup

2) Reframe

3) Reserves

4) Resilience

5) Rewards!

Whether you've taken on a Plan B or one has been thrust upon you...contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a complimentary in-person or tele-session!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, a local human services resource at http://www.tcnetwork.info/.***

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Five Great Reminders for Self-Care

1. "People spend more time planning their vacations each year than they spend on planning for their care and well-being the other 51 weeks." ~Thomas Leonard

Yikes! This is all too true for many of us. Do you have a written plan for your own well-being?


2. "Remember to avoid over scheduling, over committing and over yes-ing! The more you say yes to things that may zap you of your time, strength, and energy, the less you stay true to your values and priorities." ~Debi Silber

Do you have effective boundaries in place?


3. "They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them." ~Mohandas Gandhi

Is maintaining your self-respect non-negotiable?


4. "And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson

Great self-care makes you a wonderful role model for others!


5. "Put your own oxygen mask on first before attempting to help other passengers." ~Every airline I've ever flown on! :-)

You can't help others if you're running on empty yourself.


Take care...of yourself,

Susan

P.S. Whether you've taken on a "Plan B," or one has been thrust upon you...contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a complimentary coaching session by phone or in person. It's called:
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***Plan B: Transforming Transition***

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In this session we'll stragetize for your smooth transition to "Plan B" with...

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The Five R's of Transformation:

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1) Regroup

2) Reframe

3) Reserves

4) Resilience

5) Rewards!

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P.P.S. for Locals: Stop by Sunnybrook in Pottstown this Saturday, Sept. 26, between 9:00 am and 2:00 pm, to watch or experience my Reiki and Laser Coaching Demos at my exhibit table! There will be lots to see and do at the PMSI Community Health Fair!

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, a local resource for human services at http://www.tcnetwork.info/. ***

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Befriending a Better Habit

Energy-Draining Bad Habits
The results of a bad or outgrown habit are like a swarm of gnats...distracting and annoying! The energy it takes to shoo them repeatedly away adds up over time and raises our stress levels. Yet like gnats, bad habits can be very persistent, as we all know!

I'll use one of mine as an example. I was a life-long producer of clutter who was also great at maintaining it! Ugh! In the past several months, I've finally gotten a handle on it. It's a lifestyle change that I have adopted, and I'm keeping a structure in place to assure that the new habit sticks.

Speaking of Structure...
...create some for yourself. Set up some way to be accountable to others for the changes you want to make. Choose your accountability partners carefully, because you will need gentle support and encouragement from them as well.

I continue to receive support and accountability from my family, friends, and coaching colleagues. Last fall I even went public here on my blog with a decluttering challenge that I had set for myself!

Make It Fun!
I know...this is where you're thinking, "This woman is nuts!" But give it a try. You might pair the new activities required with something you enjoy, such as listening to music.

Make yourself a chart so you can visually track your progress. Use colors and symbols that make you smile.

For my clutter-zapping and prevention, I set a goal of 15 minutes a day in four areas for a total of 1 hour a day. This keeps me on track, and the rewards of not having to deal with clutter or cleaning much during the rest of the time are well worth it.

And I do track my time on paper. If I'm out of town for the day, I make up the time later.

The Key to Motivation
O.K., even if you don't think you can find any way to make a new habit fun, ask yourself this: "How will this new habit support my larger vision?" This question could make a crucial difference to someone who, for example, is setting out to change from a procrastinator to someone who is proactive about getting things done.

When I saw decluttering as something I "should" do, I couldn't muster up the resolve to see it through. As my friend Sally says, "Don't should on yourself!"

Now, I see life much more holistically, and I know that staying organized affects the Feng Shui of my office and home, as well as my personal energy. I also see organization as an important element of my self-care. And it's important to me to be a great role model for clients, participants, and readers.

Some coaches don't discuss topics they are still struggling with because it makes them feel out of integrity. My feeling is, however, that if someone else can learn from something I know but have not yet been able to fully implement, why not share it with them? To stay in integrity, I just admit right up front that I'm still working on the issue myself.

These days, with the clutter issue, I can honestly say that I have a handle on it. There are a few drawers and closets that still need some work, but now that my new habit is in place, they too will soon be more orderly!

Best of Luck as You Develop New Habits that Will Serve You Better for a Lifetime! Please share your successes, setbacks, and questions with my other readers and me.

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. Shameless Plug: Contact me to set up a complimentary trial coaching session by phone or in person at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

***Member of TriCounty Community Network, a local human services resource at www.TCNetwork.info.

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Why Working from Home Works for Sensitive Creatives

Creative folks often fall into the category of high sensitivity. I've mentioned it in other posts, but to get the whole story, see The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine Aron, PhD.

Meanwhile, here are my reasons, as a highly sensitive person, that I find having my "headquarters" at home to be good for my head...and the rest of me, too!

Environment
Highly Sensitive People usually experience their sensitivity in just about any way you can think of it. This includes sound, weather, indoor temperature, good or bad Feng Shui, energy coming from others, sights, textures, emotions, physical sensations, information overload, interaction overload, smells, tastes, and the effects of hunger or pushing themselves too hard.

Working mostly from home gives us much more control over these issues. This really helps, because most people in the more common sensory mode do not understand why we even have these issues. How can they, until the concept of high sensitivity is explained to them? It's simply not in their experience. So don't hold it against them. Just do what you need to do for your self-care.

Pace
Because sensitive people take things in at such a deep level, we have a lot more processing to do. This can cause us to respond, adjust, and/or work more slowly than others.

Remember those standardized, timed tests we took in school? I never saw the end of any of them! I simply can't sort that much info that fast, not to mention simultaneously handling random data coming in through my thoughts or senses! I do not have a "standardized" mind! That was in the 60's and 70's, when accommodations for differences were in their infancy.

By working from home I can make my own accommodations and set my own pace, even if it means it'll take me longer to get done. Rushing only compounds the problem, so I plan ahead to avoid that as much as possible.

Solitude
If sensitive people can work in reasonable solitude at home, so much the better. Not everyone has that luxury, but maybe you can arrange some time for solitude by asking for help from supportive family members or friends.

Flexibility
As you can see, the flexibility of working from home can help with all three of the issues I've mentioned above. Just be sure that you keep your trait of high sensitivity in mind when you are your own boss. Don't fall into the trap of making working from home just as difficult for yourself (or even more so) than working elsewhere. You can have better control over your environment, pace, and amount of solitude, so use your flexibility to make sure you do!

One way that I'm doing this is by controlling the level of clutter and disarray in my environment, as I wrote about in my last post, on July 10. If you missed it, please check it out!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. For a complimentary exploratory tele-coaching session on this topic or most any other, email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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What's Holding You Back?

Check out these creativity squashers and their corresponding remedies:

Creativity Squashers-----------------Creativity Accelerators

"Yeah, but...."--------------------------"What if...."

"It hasn't been done before...."-------"Then I'll have to be first!"

"It's all been done before."-----------------"I'll find a new twist!"

Motivation from outside you.--------------Motivation from inside.

Too much or too little structure.-----------Just enough structure to-----------------------------------------------------hang your thoughts on.

Depression.-------------------------------Strong emotional health.

Anger or resentment.---------------------Forgiveness and letting go.

Fear.-------------------------------------Do it anyway.

Trying to please everyone.------------Being authentic.

Hidden pay-offs for staying stuck.-----Expose them and weigh them------------------------------------------------against the pay-offs-----------------------------------------------------------for letting yourself be creative.

Burn-out.--------------------------------Self-care.

Ignore your intuition.-------------------Invite your intuition.

Standard outlining.---------------------Tony Buzan's Mind Maps (R).

Perfectionism.--------------------------Self-acceptance.

Striving.---------------------------------Playfulness.

Having something to prove.-----------Having something to discover.


So go out and discover! What if...?

Please keep my other readers and me posted on your progress!

Be well,
Susan

P.S. To those in the greater Philadelphia, PA, area:

On Saturday, April 12, I'll be exhibiting and offering free Reiki samples at the Boyertown Community Health and Wellness Fair from 10:00 am to 1:00 pm. The fair will be held at the Boyertown Area Sr. High School, 120 Monroe Street. And there is no charge to attend! Stop by my table to chat, pick up some info on "stressing less," and try some Reiki!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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A Valentine's Gift for Your Creativity

Well, Intrepid Creators, February is here ... the month of hearts and flowers and turning our attention to our romantic relationship if we have one. If so, I hope this relationship supports your creativity. But what if it doesn't, or what if you're between relationships at the moment?

Regardless of your relationship status with another, when it comes to supporting your creativity, how you relate to yourself is always of utmost importance. Ask yourself these questions:

Do I have clarity around my values? Are those values reflected in how I live and what I create?

Do I feel and display a sense of authenticity? If not, why not? Is it because of a fear of criticism? Is it because your persona has hardened into a mask, making difficult for even you to recognize your true self?

Do you allow yourself some solitude each week, when you can meditate, journal, collage, or just stare out the window?

I know these are tough questions, and the needed changes that may be implied by some of your answers could take some work. Hang in there anyway, just as you would with a romantic relationship that's important to you. Your creativity will thank you in ways that will long outlast candy and flowers!

My best to you,
Susan

P.S. to those of you in Southeastern PA: Please check out this site for details about several workshops I'll be teaching in February and March for the Boyertown Arts & Activities Alliance: http://www.boyertownpa.org/News/1-23.AAA-Activities-nwMFT_37.aspx!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Tailor Your Resolutions to Your Lifestyle

Here's my recipe for Creative Resolutions:

C
Create mental imagery of what your life will be like after the goal is completed.
Example: My goal is to write a book, so I'm imagining good questions and supportive comments from comments via email, on this blog, and in person! I also have an image of the cover of the book, of which I'm going to make a mock-up so can I see and touch it every day.

R
Revise your plan when it's truly needed, but be honest with yourself here.
Example: I'm estimating that it will take two years to write my book, but books often take on a life of their own. I may have to adjust that expectation.


E
Set your intention each day for the next step in the process.
Example: A typical daily intention for my book might be to work on it for a minimum of 30 minutes. I often do more, but this way it moves forward, and still feels doable.


A
Set up an accountability system for yourself.
Example: I'm doing this right now by saying here that I'm writing a book. If a reader asks me in 6 months, "How's the book coming along?", I want to be proud of my answer! I also have a one-on-one buddy, who, like me, is writing a book while she has lots of other things going on. When I know I have to give her an update in an hour, it really helps me stay focused!

T
"The work will teach you how to do it." --Estonian Proverb
Example: As I mentioned above, projects do tend to take on lives of their own. I'm just following my book down the rabbit hole. I'm not concerned about how it's going to come together. I just trust that it will.

I
List the improvements that your project will make in your life and the lives of others.
Example: This list will keep me motivated for the long haul, and it will also serve as a list of intentions for the book.


V
Track your goals visually.
Example: I keep a chart of how many hours a day (and week) that I spend on the book. When the chapter titles start to take shape, I can also track which ones are complete. This may sound too simple to help, but it does!

E
Evaluate obstacles and make plans for overcoming them.
Example: One of my obstacles might be feeling overwhelmed, so I have the 30-minute
minimum in place. Another is setting aside the time. My accountability buddy helps greatly with this!


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R
Is the timing right for your project?
Example: For my book, the timing feels right intuitively, and I've been collecting material for it for 7 years.


E
As Laura Howard West would say, it's "easy, natural, and fun"? Check this out at
http://www.joyfulmarketing.com/.
Example: My book project does feel "easy, natural, and fun." I'm letting it develop organically, and it doesn't even feel like work! (At least not yet!) :-)

S
State a specific desired outcome.
Example: Since I'm letting the book take the lead, this can be a little tricky. This is where the list of desired improvements for others and myself will come in handy. Another way around this is to state your intentions, and follow them with, "or something better!"

O
Get help from others.
Example: My accountability buddy and other friends are cheering me on. Another option for me would be to assemble an R&D team for some helpful feedback on the book.


L
Look ahead. Will this goal help to propel you toward the future you want?
Example: My book will contribute greatly to the future I'm planning. Looking at the big picture, I see that the book fits beautifully with the other things I'm developing!


U
Pick a goal that "U" really want. (No posturing or "it'll look good" goals, please!)
Example: My book topic has grown out of my own interests and not from trying to figure out what the "market" will want in a few years.


T
Set a target completion date.
Example: I've set a two-year completion date to give myself some structure, even though it may have to be changed as the book progresses.


I
What will this project do for your integrity? Will it move you closer to wholeness?
Example: I'm eager to see how my book will turn out, because it will synthesize a lot of what I've learned and experienced over the last 20 years!


O
Is your project on target with your values?
Example: The values I have around creativity and being of service will be woven securely into my book.


N
Break your project down into non-threatening small steps.
Example: For 7 years, I threw interesting bits of information and quotes into my "book box." It's a habit that has served me well, and there is almost no risk involved. (Unless you have a fear of success! ) :-) Now, my 30-minute minimum keeps my fear level down.

S
Don't forget about self-care. Creativity is a holistic process, and all aspects of your being need to be as unencumbered as possible.
Example: In the past I neglected my self-care, and my creativity packed up and left until I changed my ways. What a joy to have it flowing freely again!


Wishing you a productive year in 2008,
Susan

P.S. Being coached was a huge help in getting me to this point. Do you need some support around these topics? Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com for a complimentary coaching tele-session!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

Give Your Ego a Clear Job Description

Here's mine:

TO: My Ego
FROM: Susan
RE: Your Job Description

Position: Reality Coordinator; Your job responsibilities fall into three categories to ensure your successful collaboration with my creative side:

1. Support my creativity by collaborating with it on:

-my self-care.
-my marketing plans.


2. Back off and defer to my creativity while it's:

-brainstorming.
-daydreaming.
-interpreting dreams.
-cross-training in other artistic areas.
-journaling.
-working on projects in the early stages of development.


3. Take the wheel in your areas of expertise, including:

-logistics and technical considerations.
-handling rejection.
-pricing and other financial matters.


In Summary: Please hang this prayer over your desk.

The Ego's Effectiveness Prayer

Please help me to enhance Susan's creativity where I can,

Back off where I can't,

And have the discernment to know the difference.

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Readers,

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Please comment on the role of your ego in your creative work so we all can compare notes!

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A complimentary trial coaching tele-session is available to you on this topic or most others. Set yours up by emailing me at scleaver@dejazzd.com. With the holidays coming, you may also want to inquire about my gift-boxed set of inspirational quote cards on the Law of Attraction ($10 US plus tax and shipping that will depend on where you live).

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Sample Quote:

"What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible."

--Theodore Roethke

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Happy Halloween,

Susan

Yin, Yang, and Your Creativity

It's All About Balance

I'm sure you've all seen the perfect natural balance that's depicted by the yin/yang symbol. I would guess that none of us maintain this degree of balance all the time, but the more you reach toward it, the easier it will be for your creativity to flow.

A Quick Refresher Course on Yin and Yang

• Yin, shown as black on the symbol, represents the receiving, feminine energy. The white dot within it represents the smaller amount of yang, or action-oriented male energy, that is needed to balance yin and make it whole.
• Yang (again, the action-oriented, male energy) is shown as white with a black dot, in reverse proportions to the yin side. When we say a man is "in touch with his feminine side," it's that black dot that represents it.
• Each side is shaped sort of like a fish, and they interlock to form a circle.

It's 2007. Do you know where your energy is?

Cultural influences, for better or worse, affect how we express our energy. In the 1950's, I feel that women were expected to be overly yin, and men were expected to be overly yang. So creative men were often criticized for using their talent, and creative woman were often not accessing enough yang energy to get out there and market their work.

Then the pendulum swung the other way for my generation as young adults in the 1970's, especially for women. We took on lots of yang behaviors and created the "superwoman" syndrome. At the same time, men were not only encouraged to express more yin energy, but they they were pressured to do so.

Presently I feel that we have a much better balance of energy for men and women alike. For example, our nursing shortage is being addressed by many more men going into the profession.

Women have much more cultural freedom around the way they want to spend their child-bearing years. If they choose to have children, they may elect to continue working, either from home or not. Where finances permit, many moms are choosing to take their child-bearing years off from additional types of work.

Running a home business is a creative act in itself, as is being a stay-at-home mom or dad. And women are finding their voices in the marketplace while learning to maintain a higher level of self-care. (Need coaching around this? Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com for a complimentary trial tele-session on this topic or most others.)

Please comment below about how you maintain yin/yang balance in your own life. What a great time in history to be a creative soul!

To your success,

Susan