Hero's Journey, Part 2: Resisting Change

In the previous post from 11/17/12, I wrote an overview of the "Hero's Journey" cycle  of growth and how it affects all of us.  Of the nine parts I listed there, I want to take a closer look at the first four parts today.

Step 1: What happens to the hero or heroine shortly before the Journey begins?  You'll probably notice the structure from books you've read, movies you've seen, and, well,...life!  The cycle begins at the status quo.  The hero-to-be is entrenched in his current comfort zone, although he doesn't know that yet.  

Step 2: As a new Quest begins to tap him on the shoulder, the potential hero's comfort zone begins to feel like a tight pair of shoes.  The comfort zone may even show signs of crumbling altogether, causing him confusion and fear.  

Step 3: He begins to resist the changes.  At this point, he has self-doubt that he could be of any help on an important Quest...he feels like his own life is falling apart.  This stage is sometimes called Divine Discontent,  but the hero-to-be sees nothing divine about it yet!

Have you experienced Divine Discontent?  I know I have.  If you're willing to share the experience with my other readers and me, please add your comments at the bottom of this post.  You may be amazed by how you can help someone else just by sharing your story!  It's very powerful. 

Photo (c) iStockphoto/DNY59

Step 4: The Call gets too loud to ignore.  Something or someone dear to the prospective hero is at risk.  His confusion and fear escalate to very uncomfortable levels.  Of course he has free will, but the Call is so compelling now, he must make a decision that's in line with his values.

Photo (c) iStockphoto/Marek Uliasz

Still shaking in his boots, the hero-to-be feels a heavy mantle of responsibility and stewardship.  He also continues to carry the self-doubt.  Quests arrive without instructions, much like babies do.  Yikes!

Photo (c) iStockphoto/lionvision

In my next post, we'll look at the possibilities for our hero-to-be's experiences as he takes his next shaky steps.

Until then, please leave your comments and questions below!

Thanks,

Susan 

P.S. What I Bring to Our Coaching Relationship, Part 2 

In my 11/17/12 post, I shared the main points with you on this topic.  Today, I want to elaborate on the first topic, I enrich your "thinking environment."  Below are four of the services I deliver in this area:

• I listen deeply with trained ears.
• Our high-energy sessions are fun!
• You feel emotionally supported through sincere validation and caring.
• I provide prospective.

In my next post, I'll discuss how I'm a catalyst for positive change.

P.P.S. My post from 2/22/12, "Stewardship, Self-Care, and...Multi-Tasking?" is one of my current top-ten posts, according to my Blogger stats.  It begins with this relaxing photo.  I hope you'll check it out. And it's never too late to comment or ask a question!

Photo (c) iStockphoto/ooyoo

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are (c) Susan Cleaver.***

***Member of the TriCounty Community Network at www.tcnetwork.org.***

Stress-Reducing Ideas You May Not Have Thought About

~Dedicated to my May "Stress-Less Evening" Participants~

...May the Calm Be with You!

1. Make sure your goals align with your values.

2. Declutter. You'll be amazed at how much stress it was causing you!

3. Trust. Author Dr. Susan Jeffers says, "Trust the grand design."

4. Be of service. Gandhi said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

5. Be a life-long learner.

6. Learn to be mindful in the moment while keeping the big picture in view.

7. Be proactive. It's the polar opposite of procrastination, and it feels great!

8. Be part of a community.

9. Were you taught that "little white lies" were no big deal? I'd rethink that. As nationally-known coach and author Cheryl Richardson says, "Learn to speak the truth with grace and love."

10. Be sure you have clear personal boundaries in place about what you're willing to do, and what you consider to be acceptable behavior toward you from others.

11. Embrace simplicity.

12. Be selective about the amount and the type of information you allow into your head. Consider joining the growing number of us that rarely watch TV, especially the news!

Serenely yours,

Susan

P.S. Email me for more info on a discounted introductory coaching session by phone or in person. Discounted introductory pricing is also available for your first Reiki treatment!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, a local organization at www.tcnetwork.info.***

Make the Decision to Read this Book

Book Review:

10-10-10: 10 Minutes, 10 Months, 10 Years; A Life-Transforming Idea

by Suzy Welch, 2009; Simon & Schuster Inc. and Simon and Schuster Audio

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I listened to the unabridged audio version of this intriging book, which is read by the author. Out of her own necessity, Welch has developed a wonderfully clarifying model for making decisions.

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As the title implies, the method involves thinking through the short-range, mid-range, and long-range likely results of the options at hand. Welch's model is also very useful as a low-conflict way of making decisions with others. It's a great way to explain your decisions to others who will be affected by them.

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Below I've pulled together a fictional example to illustrate how this method might be used in everyday living.

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Molly's Quandary

"My kids want a dog. I love dogs, too. But can I take on that extra responsibility as a single mom with three kids?"

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Let's say Molly starts exploring the "Yes" possibility using Welch's 10-10-10 method. She jots down, "Ten Minutes: I'll still feel definite trepidation! The kids will have to contribute more than just 'lip service' about promises to help.

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Ten Months: We'll all be attached to the dog. I'll wonder what took me so long to bring this new source of joy and connection into our lives! I'll still be holding the kids to their specific promises to help. They may resist at times, but by then they'll know that I'm not about to back down on this point.

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Ten Years: I'll feel tremendously rewarded for having taken this risk. We are all learning first-hand about love, responsibility, and cooperation. My decision is made!"

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'Still not sure if this book is worth your time? You can guess what my advice is...apply Welch's 10-10-10 model to decide!

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My best to you,

Susan

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P.S. What?! You haven't had your complimentary coaching session with me yet? :-) Consider this topic....

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"You Are Here": Develop Your Best GPS for Daily Living

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By phone or in person, we'll work on the upgrades you want for your personal GPS !

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Possible areas to explore:

Spirituality

Values

Priorities

Strategies

Goals

Steps

Habits

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Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up an appointment. Your only obligation is to call in on time and be ready to dig in!

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, a non-profit local human services resource at http://www.tcnetwork.info/.***

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How is Your Life GPS Working?

Just as a GPS in your car uses a number of satellites to determine where you are on the road, I recommend these "satellites" that are vital in deciding which roads to take in life.

Spirituality
I use this as my first point of reference. Without this, I feel like, as my husband would say, "a loose canoe in a swift stream."

Values
With clarity around my spirituality, I find it much easier to focus in on my most important values...perhaps the top three to five, to help me see where I'm positioned in life.

Priorities
Once I have the first two in place, from there I can set my priorities as they relate to my values.

Strategies
Once I know my priorities, I can develop strategies that will help me make sure that the priorities are addressed.

Goals
At this point, I can develop useful goals easily, because I've looked at the other areas.

Steps
Next, I can use my goals to figure out what steps I need to take on a daily or weekly basis to make sure I'm manifesting my priorities.

Habits
When I take the steps I need to take on a regular basis, I develop new habits that serve me well in accomplishing my goals. These new habits actually make it easier to do the steps than to not to do them!

So how about you?
What keeps you centered and on track? Please leave a comment and let my other readers and me know! Maybe you have a different series of "satellites" that work for you.

If you try my Life GPS, please let us know how it works for you!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. 'Need some assistance in this area? I'm offering...

"You Are Here": Develop Your Best GPS for Daily Living

...a complimentary coaching session (by phone or in person) where we will work on the upgrades you want for your personal GPS!

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Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up an appointment.

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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***Member of the TriCounty Community Network, a local human services resource at http://www.tcnetwork.info/.

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Getting the Most from Being Coached

The coaching relationship is a partnership rather than a service that is done "for" you or "to" you. Because of this, you can get the most from your coaching dollars by being the best client you can be.

Below is a list of qualities you can apply or develop in yourself that can help you get the most value from being coached.

~flexible

~open-minded

~has the ability to withhold judgement while brainstorming freely

~allows herself to be pulled forward by the synergy she has created with her coach rather than waiting for the coach to push

~follows through on commitments or is willing to take an honest look at why he didn't follow through

~enthusiastic

~has picked a compelling challenge for herself

~curious, adventurous thinker

~speaks up when he has a concern or wants the coaching to go in another direction

~clear about her values and is willing to take the time to build her personal infrastructure to support them.

I'm eager to hear from those of you who fit this profile! Your trial session is complimentary; email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or call 610-385-3766.

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. to Locals: It was great to see so many familiar people and to meet new ones at the Boyertown Wellness Fair on Saturday! I'll also be exhibiting and demonstrating Reiki at the Healthy Lifestyles Expo in Pottstown on Friday, April 17. Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com for more information.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.**

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Values, Vision, and Vitality Equal Results

Here's one way I propose to look at the manifesting process, using a nautical analogy....

Values
The value that guides your vision will serve as a beacon throughout the process of manifesting that vision. For an example, let's use "helping others to help themselves" as the value. And let's say that where you are now is the shore you're currently on concerning making something happen that will align with that value.

This value gives us the compelling purpose and motivation for developing the vision.


Vision
The vision is the vehicle that will get you to the far shore, which is the manifestation of the vision. An example of a vision guided by the value above might be starting a non-profit organization that extends loans to micro-businesses in third-world countries.

Keeping the vision aligned with the value contributes to the integrity of the project. It also inspires others with the same value to support the vision.

Through the vision, you can articulate your desired results in a way that others can understand, imagine, and get behind. In computer terms, it's like putting your idea and desire into a PDF so everyone can see it easily. Next, we can partner the vision with vitality to assure the feasibility of the project.


Vitality
What resources will it take to make the project work? Vitality is the bridge for the vision to cross. This bridge must be engineered with a firm foundation consisting of self-care, financial responsibility, leadership, patience, trust, flexibility, and sustainable energy.

This foundation will help you maintain your passion and enthusiasm, and it will help you align with the Law of Attraction. Vitality will also contribute to the integrity of the project by allowing you to actually move on it, and not just daydream about it.

In the case of our example above, vitality will assure that the organization can be founded, funds can be secured and managed, and enthusiasm can be sustained.

What? You don't see yourself as a visionary? Let your values give birth to your image, and let vitality carry it to fruition!

I'd love to hear about your experiences with this model!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. to "locals": Details will be available soon about the largest-yet 4th Annual Boyertown Wellness Council Health Fair! It'll take place on Saturday, March 21, 2009, from 10:00 am to 1:00 pm at the Boyertown Area Sr. High School.

I'll be facilitating a brief workshop on "Embracing Imperfection," demonstrating Reiki on willing participants, and hosting an exhibit table about coaching and Reiki. Order forms will be available for a special discount on my products. I hope to see you there!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Clutter-Zapping Update, Month Five...and More

Greetings Intrepid Clutter-Zappers,

In the past month, I've logged another 11 and 1/2 hours of decluttering, for a total of 61 and 1/2 hours since 7/10/08! My goal is to reach 100 hours.

Like many things in life, it's a two-steps-forward-and-one-back process. Life is messy! I still need/want to live and work in my home and office, so I'll just have to accept those steps back, and focus on the progress I'm making.

On Wednesday (12/3), I wrote a post called "Pave the Way Now for Your 2009 Resolutions." I was quite pleased with myself for updating my plans for two goals that are well under way already...decluttering and building a business that serves from the heart. (Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to ask about the introductory rate on my new "More Than a Tutor" program for school-aged kids!)

Then, on the next day, I learned that some numbers in my routine blood work were wonky, so my body is needing even more care than I've been giving it. Following my own advice may not be so easy after all! Back to the drawing board for a game plan for honoring all of my body's needs. Being proactive and taking responsibility for my own well-being are high on my values list, so this is not negotiable!

Please share your own goal-setting adventures by leaving a comment. Here's where the "support and accountability" part comes in that I mentioned on 12/3. :-)

Thanks,
Susan

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

Featured Artist: Wilfriede Axsmith, Silk Painter

I love wearable art! So every spring when I head to a local craft show in Chester County, PA, I always look forward to visiting the booth of The Silken Garb and its creator, silk painter Wilfriede Axsmith!

In her warm and helpful way, Wilfriede has helped me pick out at least four pieces of her art for my wardrobe. The breezy style of her painting and the flowing nature of the garments make me feel like a free spirit!

Wilfriede's pieces always garner compliments, and her pieces are so distinctive that those who know her work can recognize it immediately.

I can certainly relate to Wilfriede's style of working. She says, "In my work I create my own safe haven. I love texture, color, and unexpected designs...." She follows these elements to the completion of the piece without imposing a particular structure on it.

Wilfriede and I also share several values: life-long learning, reading, self-care, experimenting, and loving our work!

Wilfriede says, "Germany in those days was a different world," when she left it to come to the US in 1963. Even though her father was an artist, Wilfriede was busy dealing with culture shock and working as a tailor to help put her three daughters through college. She didn't see herself as an artist during that time.

Designing one-of-a-kind dolls after 20 years as a tailor sparked her transition into art. Several years later, Wilfriede went on to become a silk painter, which required much study to learn about using the dyes and other techniques.

Finally she had found her true calling! Wilfriede then took "...advanced classes with nationally known silk painters and artists...." Today she is a juried member of the Reading-Berks Chapter of the PA Guild of Craftsmen.

Wilfriede's techniques include Batik (a wax resist process), Shibori, a special folding and pleating technique, or using the Gutta Serti technique, which involves steam-setting of the dyes. For her "canvas" she uses light-weight China Silk, Silk-Rayon Velvet, or something in between, depending on the character of the piece she's creating.

Wilfriede faces the same challenges as many other artists: pressure, deadlines, and fear of losing her creativity. "Being discouraged at times is part of the process," she reassures us. "I have also come to realize and accept that it is okay to have my work rejected at times. I often learn and try a different approach and always try to remember what is really important in my life."

Wilfriede's upcoming shows are at: Peters Valley, NJ, on Sept. 27 and 28; PA Guild of Craftsmen at Montgomery County Community College, Oct. 18 and 19; Reading-Berks Guild of Craftsmen on Nov. 1 and 2; North Penn, Lansdale, PA, Nov. 22.

For Wilfriede's contact info, please see www.rbcrafts.org/listings/axsmith.htm. Many thanks to Wilfriede for being willing to be my latest featured artist!

Sincerely,
Susan

P.S. Feel free to suggest future featured artists!

P.P.S. Please let me know by tomorrow, Friday, Sept. 19, if you're interested in the Fall Sweep Dig-In Tele-Party. Just go to http://www.seminarannouncer.com/ for more info and a convenient place to sign up. Thanks!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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A Valentine's Gift for Your Creativity

Well, Intrepid Creators, February is here ... the month of hearts and flowers and turning our attention to our romantic relationship if we have one. If so, I hope this relationship supports your creativity. But what if it doesn't, or what if you're between relationships at the moment?

Regardless of your relationship status with another, when it comes to supporting your creativity, how you relate to yourself is always of utmost importance. Ask yourself these questions:

Do I have clarity around my values? Are those values reflected in how I live and what I create?

Do I feel and display a sense of authenticity? If not, why not? Is it because of a fear of criticism? Is it because your persona has hardened into a mask, making difficult for even you to recognize your true self?

Do you allow yourself some solitude each week, when you can meditate, journal, collage, or just stare out the window?

I know these are tough questions, and the needed changes that may be implied by some of your answers could take some work. Hang in there anyway, just as you would with a romantic relationship that's important to you. Your creativity will thank you in ways that will long outlast candy and flowers!

My best to you,
Susan

P.S. to those of you in Southeastern PA: Please check out this site for details about several workshops I'll be teaching in February and March for the Boyertown Arts & Activities Alliance: http://www.boyertownpa.org/News/1-23.AAA-Activities-nwMFT_37.aspx!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Tailor Your Resolutions to Your Lifestyle

Here's my recipe for Creative Resolutions:

C
Create mental imagery of what your life will be like after the goal is completed.
Example: My goal is to write a book, so I'm imagining good questions and supportive comments from comments via email, on this blog, and in person! I also have an image of the cover of the book, of which I'm going to make a mock-up so can I see and touch it every day.

R
Revise your plan when it's truly needed, but be honest with yourself here.
Example: I'm estimating that it will take two years to write my book, but books often take on a life of their own. I may have to adjust that expectation.


E
Set your intention each day for the next step in the process.
Example: A typical daily intention for my book might be to work on it for a minimum of 30 minutes. I often do more, but this way it moves forward, and still feels doable.


A
Set up an accountability system for yourself.
Example: I'm doing this right now by saying here that I'm writing a book. If a reader asks me in 6 months, "How's the book coming along?", I want to be proud of my answer! I also have a one-on-one buddy, who, like me, is writing a book while she has lots of other things going on. When I know I have to give her an update in an hour, it really helps me stay focused!

T
"The work will teach you how to do it." --Estonian Proverb
Example: As I mentioned above, projects do tend to take on lives of their own. I'm just following my book down the rabbit hole. I'm not concerned about how it's going to come together. I just trust that it will.

I
List the improvements that your project will make in your life and the lives of others.
Example: This list will keep me motivated for the long haul, and it will also serve as a list of intentions for the book.


V
Track your goals visually.
Example: I keep a chart of how many hours a day (and week) that I spend on the book. When the chapter titles start to take shape, I can also track which ones are complete. This may sound too simple to help, but it does!

E
Evaluate obstacles and make plans for overcoming them.
Example: One of my obstacles might be feeling overwhelmed, so I have the 30-minute
minimum in place. Another is setting aside the time. My accountability buddy helps greatly with this!


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R
Is the timing right for your project?
Example: For my book, the timing feels right intuitively, and I've been collecting material for it for 7 years.


E
As Laura Howard West would say, it's "easy, natural, and fun"? Check this out at
http://www.joyfulmarketing.com/.
Example: My book project does feel "easy, natural, and fun." I'm letting it develop organically, and it doesn't even feel like work! (At least not yet!) :-)

S
State a specific desired outcome.
Example: Since I'm letting the book take the lead, this can be a little tricky. This is where the list of desired improvements for others and myself will come in handy. Another way around this is to state your intentions, and follow them with, "or something better!"

O
Get help from others.
Example: My accountability buddy and other friends are cheering me on. Another option for me would be to assemble an R&D team for some helpful feedback on the book.


L
Look ahead. Will this goal help to propel you toward the future you want?
Example: My book will contribute greatly to the future I'm planning. Looking at the big picture, I see that the book fits beautifully with the other things I'm developing!


U
Pick a goal that "U" really want. (No posturing or "it'll look good" goals, please!)
Example: My book topic has grown out of my own interests and not from trying to figure out what the "market" will want in a few years.


T
Set a target completion date.
Example: I've set a two-year completion date to give myself some structure, even though it may have to be changed as the book progresses.


I
What will this project do for your integrity? Will it move you closer to wholeness?
Example: I'm eager to see how my book will turn out, because it will synthesize a lot of what I've learned and experienced over the last 20 years!


O
Is your project on target with your values?
Example: The values I have around creativity and being of service will be woven securely into my book.


N
Break your project down into non-threatening small steps.
Example: For 7 years, I threw interesting bits of information and quotes into my "book box." It's a habit that has served me well, and there is almost no risk involved. (Unless you have a fear of success! ) :-) Now, my 30-minute minimum keeps my fear level down.

S
Don't forget about self-care. Creativity is a holistic process, and all aspects of your being need to be as unencumbered as possible.
Example: In the past I neglected my self-care, and my creativity packed up and left until I changed my ways. What a joy to have it flowing freely again!


Wishing you a productive year in 2008,
Susan

P.S. Being coached was a huge help in getting me to this point. Do you need some support around these topics? Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com for a complimentary coaching tele-session!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

Good News About Creativity and Aging

Here are 12 reasons why creativity and aging make great partners:

1. You may have more time to create after raising kids and/or retiring.
2. If you're a grandparent, this wakes up your creativity as you see it in the little ones and as you use it yourself to entertain and communicate with them.
3. You are clearer about your wants, needs, values, and preferences and how you want to express them in your art.
4. Your self-esteem may be stronger and can hold up better to criticism and stereotypes.
5. You probably feel more free to be who you really are, and that will come through in your work.
6. You may be in a better financial position to support the launch into the creative field of your choice.
7. You may have a clearer mission (see last week's post) about how you want your art to serve the world.
8. You may have more time for fun and relaxation, both of which open you up to the creative process!
9. Wonderful technology to support your creative and marketing efforts is available now that was not around when you were younger.
10. Mentoring and/or being a role model for younger people can be very rewarding. Even others in your age group may be inspired to follow your lead.
11. Being creative is a great way to keep your mind active and healthy as you age.
12. Your experiences and personal growth have enriched your potential for creative output.

So don't say, "Oh, I'm too old to start painting (or writing, throwing pots, etc.). Instead, say "My age is adding a whole new dimension to my work!" Plant your creative seeds in the rich soil of your life experience, and see what emerges!

Still not convinced? Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a complimentary trial tele-coaching session so we can apply these points to your specific situation.

Wishing you fulfillment always,

Susan

Saying "No" Benefits Your Creativity and Health

Can you say "no" clearly, firmly, kindly, and without guilt or excuses? This is a crucial survival skill for the twenty-first century, especially for those engaged in creative work or play.

Because I have a passion for life-long learning, I love the information age. But, as with anything else, we need to learn to manage the down side. People's expectations have risen along with the speed of communication and the ready access to information. Chances are it has increased distractions, requests, and demands on your time and attention. Learning to say "no" to the inner and outer pressures this creates is absolutely essential.

Here are some other areas where saying "no" is indispensable:

• Say "no" to overspending and keeping up with the Joneses, so that you have the financial freedom you need to pursue your creative interests.
• Say "no" to behaviors that make you feel out of integrity, such as agreeing to lie for a friend.
• Say "no" to perfectionism, not just in your art, but in all areas of your life.
• Say "no" to 24/7 open-door policies and letting work seep into your vacation time.
• Say "no" to clutter. (I'm still working on this one, but I'm getting better!)
• Say "no" to boundary violations involving your time, space, privacy, unwanted opinions, etc.
• Say "no" to procrastination.
• Say "no" to negative self-talk and outlooks.
• Say "no" to blaming others. It hinders your ability to change the situation.
• Say "no" to striving and trying to control everything. Go with the flow!
• Say "no" to drama...yours or that of others.
• Say "no" to busyness as a status symbol.
• Say "no" to guilt trips.

The Dangers of Not Learning to Say "No"

• Overload, or worse: burn-out
• Resentment that can lead to passive-aggressive behavior in an attempt to get out of what you grudgingly agreed to
• Compromised integrity
• Damaged self-esteem
• No room for the wonderful creative surprises that are waiting around every corner for you!

How-To Tips

• Clarify your values, goals, and priorities so it's easier to decide what you need to say "no" to.
• Remember the oxygen mask protocol: put your own on first before attempting to help others.
• Decide right now that you will no longer allow yourself to be put on the spot. If you need time to think about it, take that time. If the person needs an immediate answer, then it will have to be "no."
• Remember that we teach people how to treat us. Are you teaching "Respect 101" or "Doormat 101?" Trust me, those around you are quick learners in this regard!
• Ask yourself, "Have I made physical, mental, and energetic space for creative seeds to grow?" Say "no" now, and save yourself a lot of weeding later!

Here's to your creativity and health,

Susan

***Need help in this area? Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com for a complimentary exploratory tele-coaching session!***