Saying "No" Benefits Your Creativity and Health

Can you say "no" clearly, firmly, kindly, and without guilt or excuses? This is a crucial survival skill for the twenty-first century, especially for those engaged in creative work or play.

Because I have a passion for life-long learning, I love the information age. But, as with anything else, we need to learn to manage the down side. People's expectations have risen along with the speed of communication and the ready access to information. Chances are it has increased distractions, requests, and demands on your time and attention. Learning to say "no" to the inner and outer pressures this creates is absolutely essential.

Here are some other areas where saying "no" is indispensable:

• Say "no" to overspending and keeping up with the Joneses, so that you have the financial freedom you need to pursue your creative interests.
• Say "no" to behaviors that make you feel out of integrity, such as agreeing to lie for a friend.
• Say "no" to perfectionism, not just in your art, but in all areas of your life.
• Say "no" to 24/7 open-door policies and letting work seep into your vacation time.
• Say "no" to clutter. (I'm still working on this one, but I'm getting better!)
• Say "no" to boundary violations involving your time, space, privacy, unwanted opinions, etc.
• Say "no" to procrastination.
• Say "no" to negative self-talk and outlooks.
• Say "no" to blaming others. It hinders your ability to change the situation.
• Say "no" to striving and trying to control everything. Go with the flow!
• Say "no" to drama...yours or that of others.
• Say "no" to busyness as a status symbol.
• Say "no" to guilt trips.

The Dangers of Not Learning to Say "No"

• Overload, or worse: burn-out
• Resentment that can lead to passive-aggressive behavior in an attempt to get out of what you grudgingly agreed to
• Compromised integrity
• Damaged self-esteem
• No room for the wonderful creative surprises that are waiting around every corner for you!

How-To Tips

• Clarify your values, goals, and priorities so it's easier to decide what you need to say "no" to.
• Remember the oxygen mask protocol: put your own on first before attempting to help others.
• Decide right now that you will no longer allow yourself to be put on the spot. If you need time to think about it, take that time. If the person needs an immediate answer, then it will have to be "no."
• Remember that we teach people how to treat us. Are you teaching "Respect 101" or "Doormat 101?" Trust me, those around you are quick learners in this regard!
• Ask yourself, "Have I made physical, mental, and energetic space for creative seeds to grow?" Say "no" now, and save yourself a lot of weeding later!

Here's to your creativity and health,

Susan

***Need help in this area? Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com for a complimentary exploratory tele-coaching session!***