Befriending a Better Habit

Energy-Draining Bad Habits
The results of a bad or outgrown habit are like a swarm of gnats...distracting and annoying! The energy it takes to shoo them repeatedly away adds up over time and raises our stress levels. Yet like gnats, bad habits can be very persistent, as we all know!

I'll use one of mine as an example. I was a life-long producer of clutter who was also great at maintaining it! Ugh! In the past several months, I've finally gotten a handle on it. It's a lifestyle change that I have adopted, and I'm keeping a structure in place to assure that the new habit sticks.

Speaking of Structure...
...create some for yourself. Set up some way to be accountable to others for the changes you want to make. Choose your accountability partners carefully, because you will need gentle support and encouragement from them as well.

I continue to receive support and accountability from my family, friends, and coaching colleagues. Last fall I even went public here on my blog with a decluttering challenge that I had set for myself!

Make It Fun!
I know...this is where you're thinking, "This woman is nuts!" But give it a try. You might pair the new activities required with something you enjoy, such as listening to music.

Make yourself a chart so you can visually track your progress. Use colors and symbols that make you smile.

For my clutter-zapping and prevention, I set a goal of 15 minutes a day in four areas for a total of 1 hour a day. This keeps me on track, and the rewards of not having to deal with clutter or cleaning much during the rest of the time are well worth it.

And I do track my time on paper. If I'm out of town for the day, I make up the time later.

The Key to Motivation
O.K., even if you don't think you can find any way to make a new habit fun, ask yourself this: "How will this new habit support my larger vision?" This question could make a crucial difference to someone who, for example, is setting out to change from a procrastinator to someone who is proactive about getting things done.

When I saw decluttering as something I "should" do, I couldn't muster up the resolve to see it through. As my friend Sally says, "Don't should on yourself!"

Now, I see life much more holistically, and I know that staying organized affects the Feng Shui of my office and home, as well as my personal energy. I also see organization as an important element of my self-care. And it's important to me to be a great role model for clients, participants, and readers.

Some coaches don't discuss topics they are still struggling with because it makes them feel out of integrity. My feeling is, however, that if someone else can learn from something I know but have not yet been able to fully implement, why not share it with them? To stay in integrity, I just admit right up front that I'm still working on the issue myself.

These days, with the clutter issue, I can honestly say that I have a handle on it. There are a few drawers and closets that still need some work, but now that my new habit is in place, they too will soon be more orderly!

Best of Luck as You Develop New Habits that Will Serve You Better for a Lifetime! Please share your successes, setbacks, and questions with my other readers and me.

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. Shameless Plug: Contact me to set up a complimentary trial coaching session by phone or in person at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

***Member of TriCounty Community Network, a local human services resource at www.TCNetwork.info.

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"Why Is She Telling Us This?"

This is my last decluttering update; I have finally reached 100 hours! I started on July 10, 2008, so I don't get any points for speed. I'll take credit for persistence, though!

You may be wondering, "Why is she telling us this?" I had two reasons for tracking my progress on my blog:

• For accountability (A special thanks to my hubby, Stew, and my good friend Mary Beth for heading up the accountability squad!) I also wanted to show you how much accountability helps on a project like this or most any other type. Just be sure your accountability buddies are people who are going to be positive and supportive, especially if the project is a creative one.
• As a demonstration of how you might use a similar method to break down a big project. Through my monthly updates, I've hoped to give you a bird's-eye view of how this can be done, along with the foibles and doubts I had along the way.

What about sustainability?

I spent a little time toward the end of the project setting up a plan for that. I didn't want my organizing efforts to go the way of yo-yo dieting.

I'm a member of www.Coachville.com, and they have a great program called "The 100 Day Challenge." I signed up for the one that started this week to work on maintaining what I did during my own "100 Hour Challenge." The program also gives me a fresh way to approach continuing to improve my home and office environments.

When you're planning a change for yourself, remember to figure in a way to maintain the results you'll attain. We all know how frustrating it is to slip backward. So...go for it, and follow through on the follow-through! :-)

To your success,

Susan

P.S. Contact me for a complimentary exploratory coaching session by phone or in person at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766. I look forward to hearing from you!

P.P.S. Thanks to all who attended my workshop at McCormick Chiropractic in Pottstown, PA, last night. It was fun!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

Clutter-Zapping and a Calendar of Events

Out, D*%n Clutter!

My tally is at 70 clutter-busting hours for the time period of July 10, 2008 to this afternoon, January 5, 2009! If you've been following the monthly installments of this saga, you know that I'm aiming for 100 hours. In the past month, I accumulated 8-1/2 additional hours. I'm more than 2/3 of the way there!

With the flurry of the holidays behind us, I'd like to commit to at least 20 hours for my February report. If you think I'm being too easy or too hard on myself, let me know in a comment. It's New Year's Resolution time, so if decluttering is on your list, check in with us for support, accountability, and bragging rights! (Please let us in on your secret to success, too.)

Calendar of Events for Early 2009

Here are some other things I'm up to besides clearing clutter.... For more information, please contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766.

*Anti-Hibernation Coaching Special ~~ To benefit, have your complimentary session by February 20, and (if you decide to come aboard) have your first month prepaid by February 27.

*"Cupid's Bow" Valentine Coaching Special for Couples ~~ Your prepaid session is available for the month of February for just $14 US, in honor of the special day, February 14. This is a unique, fun, and calorie-free Valentine treat!

*The "More Than a Tutor" Coaching Program for Kids" combines my experience in education and coaching to assist your child in strengthening the social, emotional, and intellectual skills that form the foundation of his or her happiness and success in school.

*"Susan, Unplugged... Your 'Slow-Tech' Source for Creative and Healthy Living Tips" is this blog's alter ego. It's complimentary in the US and arrives by snail-mail. (Remember snail-mail??) The January/February issue is now available.

~~~Additional Goodies for Local Folks...~~~

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*Reiki is 50% off for your intro session.

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*"Trade Up to a Healthier Habit" is a complimentary workshop presented by me and hosted by McCormick Chiropractic in Pottstown, PA, on February 17 from 6:30 pm to 7:00 pm.

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*Boyertown A.C. Wellness Council 4th Annual Health Fair will be held on March 21 from 10:00 am to 1:00 pm. I'll be exhibiting and offering a workshop at this family event.

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Be well,

Susan

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Clutter-Zapping Update, Month Five...and More

Greetings Intrepid Clutter-Zappers,

In the past month, I've logged another 11 and 1/2 hours of decluttering, for a total of 61 and 1/2 hours since 7/10/08! My goal is to reach 100 hours.

Like many things in life, it's a two-steps-forward-and-one-back process. Life is messy! I still need/want to live and work in my home and office, so I'll just have to accept those steps back, and focus on the progress I'm making.

On Wednesday (12/3), I wrote a post called "Pave the Way Now for Your 2009 Resolutions." I was quite pleased with myself for updating my plans for two goals that are well under way already...decluttering and building a business that serves from the heart. (Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to ask about the introductory rate on my new "More Than a Tutor" program for school-aged kids!)

Then, on the next day, I learned that some numbers in my routine blood work were wonky, so my body is needing even more care than I've been giving it. Following my own advice may not be so easy after all! Back to the drawing board for a game plan for honoring all of my body's needs. Being proactive and taking responsibility for my own well-being are high on my values list, so this is not negotiable!

Please share your own goal-setting adventures by leaving a comment. Here's where the "support and accountability" part comes in that I mentioned on 12/3. :-)

Thanks,
Susan

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

Pave the Way Now for Your 2009 Resolutions

Start now to set the foundation for the success of your 2009 goals! Here are a few things you can do to put yourself in the best possible position to succeed.

~Prioritize your goals, and limit your current efforts to the top two or three so you don't spread yourself too thin.

~Line up support and accountability. Depending on your goals and situation, you may need the help of a friend, family member, coach, therapist, doctor, personal trainer, dietitian, etc.

~Note the obstacles you may encounter so you are prepared to flow around them.

~Start taking excellent care of yourself physically and emotionally so you'll be up to the challenges. Set boundaries with others and eliminate at least one obligation from your schedule that is draining you.

~Prepare your mind with affirmations, imagery, and intentions related to your goals now so they will be firmly set in your mind by the New Year.

Following these suggestions will be one of the best holiday gifts you've ever given yourself!

Please let us all know how it goes by leaving a comment. We can all learn from each other!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. Ask me about my Anti-Hibernation Coaching Special that will be in effect for January and February 2009! Contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Structure and Accountability Trump Will Power!

I know that my creativity needs elbow room, and that keeping my home and office environments in an organized state that is pleasing to me is good Feng Shui. But maintaining the level of organization that I want has always been a challenge for me. I'm doing better, but I still have times when I get really frustrated with myself around this.

Not only will I have a better chance of succeeding if I report my project and progress here on the blog, but you can use it for an example for creating your own way to accomplish what you want to do.

So here's my plan. I know that structure and accountability trump will power. So here's where you come in. I've set forth a three-month challenge for myself and I'm "going public" with it here for accountability. I'll report my progress on this blog once a month during the project: Monday, August 11, Wednesday, Sept. 10, and, finally, Friday, Oct. 11. There! Now I've put myself on the hook, but in a good way! :-) I trust you'll post nudging comments if I slip up!

Here are the details of my plan: For 50 days out of those three months, I'll invest 2 hours daily on the clearing, organizing, and optimizing of my immediate indoor environments (home and office). I also need to find ways to easily maintain the systems/environments I create. Please come back to cheer on my efforts (or to frown upon my slip-ups)!

What are you not moving along steadily/quickly enough that you could use some accountability, structure, and support around? I invite you to make a plan and write it in the comments section so that we can all be there for you! We'll all learn from it!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. To receive the alter ego to this blog, "Susan, Unplugged...Your 'Slow-Tech' Source for Creative and Healthy Living Tips," with my compliments, just send your snail-mail address to me at scleaver@dejazzd.com. If you live outside the continental US, I'll ask you to cover the cost of the postage.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Resolution Check-In

"Mistakes are the portals of discovery." --James Joyce

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Sweet Victories or Sour Grapes?

Are you on your way to manifesting your resolutions, or is your enthusiasm sagging? Either way, I'd suggest that you go back to my December 11 post and brush up on the basics of carrying out creative resolutions. Then check out the common pitfalls discussed below.

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Pitfall #1: Trying to Swim Upstream

Have you ever seen the ads for a space-saving exercise pool? They are only about 8 ft. long, 5 ft. wide, and operate on the principle that if you try to swim upstream, you will likely end up staying in the same place. The pool sends a current of water forward and you swim against it.

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This is fine for space-saving exercise, but I don't think it's what you had in mind for your resolutions! The Universe can't help us if we are struggling to go the other way. We've heard it a million times because it's true: go with the flow.

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You'll have to decide what this means for you in relation to your own resolutions, but here's an example. Did you set up a resolution that forces you to focus on your weaknesses and fix them? Instead, rework it so that you are building on your strengths. It's easier, it makes you feel better about yourself, and it attracts more strengths, because that's what you're focusing on!

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Pitfall #2: Believing It Has to Be Difficult

We've been trying to swim upstream for so long, we've come to believe that where there's no pain there's no gain. Sure, you need to take action, but check in with your intuition first for help with your decisions and timing. It'll help you sail right around those pesky boulders in the river of life.

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Pitfall #3: Blaming Others

So, are you going to sail around the boulder, or are you going to blame nature for putting it in your way? Blaming others or blaming institutions or circumstances puts us in a powerless mindset, because it follows that we think there's nothing we can do to change the situation.

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This doesn't mean we have to blame ourselves, it just means that we have to accept responsibility for doing what is needed to get our resolutions back on the right track.

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Pitfall #4: Lack of a Support Structure on Which to Build Your Goal

Can your current life circumstances support the personal growth it'll take to get to your goal? How are your finances, health, relationships, etc.? Do you have accountability and moral support in place?

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I'm offering personalized complimentary email support, once a week for four weeks to the first ten people who request it. If you're interested, email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com.

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To your success,

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Susan

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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Tailor Your Resolutions to Your Lifestyle

Here's my recipe for Creative Resolutions:

C
Create mental imagery of what your life will be like after the goal is completed.
Example: My goal is to write a book, so I'm imagining good questions and supportive comments from comments via email, on this blog, and in person! I also have an image of the cover of the book, of which I'm going to make a mock-up so can I see and touch it every day.

R
Revise your plan when it's truly needed, but be honest with yourself here.
Example: I'm estimating that it will take two years to write my book, but books often take on a life of their own. I may have to adjust that expectation.


E
Set your intention each day for the next step in the process.
Example: A typical daily intention for my book might be to work on it for a minimum of 30 minutes. I often do more, but this way it moves forward, and still feels doable.


A
Set up an accountability system for yourself.
Example: I'm doing this right now by saying here that I'm writing a book. If a reader asks me in 6 months, "How's the book coming along?", I want to be proud of my answer! I also have a one-on-one buddy, who, like me, is writing a book while she has lots of other things going on. When I know I have to give her an update in an hour, it really helps me stay focused!

T
"The work will teach you how to do it." --Estonian Proverb
Example: As I mentioned above, projects do tend to take on lives of their own. I'm just following my book down the rabbit hole. I'm not concerned about how it's going to come together. I just trust that it will.

I
List the improvements that your project will make in your life and the lives of others.
Example: This list will keep me motivated for the long haul, and it will also serve as a list of intentions for the book.


V
Track your goals visually.
Example: I keep a chart of how many hours a day (and week) that I spend on the book. When the chapter titles start to take shape, I can also track which ones are complete. This may sound too simple to help, but it does!

E
Evaluate obstacles and make plans for overcoming them.
Example: One of my obstacles might be feeling overwhelmed, so I have the 30-minute
minimum in place. Another is setting aside the time. My accountability buddy helps greatly with this!


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R
Is the timing right for your project?
Example: For my book, the timing feels right intuitively, and I've been collecting material for it for 7 years.


E
As Laura Howard West would say, it's "easy, natural, and fun"? Check this out at
http://www.joyfulmarketing.com/.
Example: My book project does feel "easy, natural, and fun." I'm letting it develop organically, and it doesn't even feel like work! (At least not yet!) :-)

S
State a specific desired outcome.
Example: Since I'm letting the book take the lead, this can be a little tricky. This is where the list of desired improvements for others and myself will come in handy. Another way around this is to state your intentions, and follow them with, "or something better!"

O
Get help from others.
Example: My accountability buddy and other friends are cheering me on. Another option for me would be to assemble an R&D team for some helpful feedback on the book.


L
Look ahead. Will this goal help to propel you toward the future you want?
Example: My book will contribute greatly to the future I'm planning. Looking at the big picture, I see that the book fits beautifully with the other things I'm developing!


U
Pick a goal that "U" really want. (No posturing or "it'll look good" goals, please!)
Example: My book topic has grown out of my own interests and not from trying to figure out what the "market" will want in a few years.


T
Set a target completion date.
Example: I've set a two-year completion date to give myself some structure, even though it may have to be changed as the book progresses.


I
What will this project do for your integrity? Will it move you closer to wholeness?
Example: I'm eager to see how my book will turn out, because it will synthesize a lot of what I've learned and experienced over the last 20 years!


O
Is your project on target with your values?
Example: The values I have around creativity and being of service will be woven securely into my book.


N
Break your project down into non-threatening small steps.
Example: For 7 years, I threw interesting bits of information and quotes into my "book box." It's a habit that has served me well, and there is almost no risk involved. (Unless you have a fear of success! ) :-) Now, my 30-minute minimum keeps my fear level down.

S
Don't forget about self-care. Creativity is a holistic process, and all aspects of your being need to be as unencumbered as possible.
Example: In the past I neglected my self-care, and my creativity packed up and left until I changed my ways. What a joy to have it flowing freely again!


Wishing you a productive year in 2008,
Susan

P.S. Being coached was a huge help in getting me to this point. Do you need some support around these topics? Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com for a complimentary coaching tele-session!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

It's Fall. Do You Know Where Your Creativity Is?

Seasonal Affective Disorder and the Creative Mind
Our thoughts and our biochemistry are so closely entwined, it's no wonder that SAD can leave you wondering if you have a creative bone left in your body! Maybe, like me, you sometimes feel that the bears have the right idea about coping with the darker seasons.

An inability to take in enough light through your eyes during shorter, grayer days can affect your biochemistry and make you feel like a wet noodle for months if you are susceptible. And while you may be able to slog through your day job, the muse is not fond of slogging and will likely leave you feeling about as creative as a kitchen sponge.

Symptoms Are Compounded by Misconceptions and Stigmas
Common symptoms of SAD include depression, irritability, carb cravings, fatigue, sleepiness, and a lack of motivation. Friends and family who aren't affected may wonder why you don't just "snap out of it." As if you wouldn't if you could!

And then there are the stigmas around behavioral health issues and asking for help. Ugh!

Help Is Available
There are lots of resources available today to help you deal with SAD:

• Self-help tips abound.
• Specially-designed light boxes are available.
• Professional help can be very valuable. Therapy and/or medication may be called for in some instances.

In addition to using these resources, I also have an accountability buddy. We provide gentle structure for each other by setting up several hours a week when we call each other to declare what we are going to work on and then what we have completed.

The encouragement and feeling of connection that we provide for each other is very helpful, too. It keeps up our motivation, and we feel good about our accomplishments, which leads to more motivation!

Your accountability buddy need not suffer from SAD to benefit from this arrangement. This idea has been used in the coaching community for years, often in groups on conference calls.

If you're interested in having such a buddy, email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com, and I will make every effort to match you up with someone. If there is sufficient interest in doing this in a group, I would be glad to host the call.

Coaching can also provide accountability, motivation, and encouragement. Feel free to email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a complimentary trial tele-session.

I'm not willing to let SAD rob me of a full, happy, and creative life. How about you?

To your fulfillment and good health,

Susan

Creative Community

Diversity and Choice

I'd like to start with a few things that creative community is NOT. First of all, it is not limited to what we normally consider the "arts." Putting together a rewarding life for yourself is the creative framework for all else that you do! This can include the arts, but could also include many other things such as parenting or running a business.

Secondly, creative community is not limited to traditional networking at breakfast meetings, etc. Some folks love these and find them very helpful. Others find them to be an unnatural fit for their style.

Technology's Role

If you found your way to this blog, you probably already know what a boon the Internet has been for networking and support communities of all types. And you can often enter into joint ventures with no concern for your JV partner's geographic location!

Modern phone technology, which allows for inexpensive conference calling, can be used for all sorts of group experiences, including brainstorming, classes, Q and A, interviews, and demonstrations.

The Right Fit

Having fun loosens you up and opens the door to your creativity, so be sure to choose a community that provides this for you. Forget about what you've heard you "should" be doing, and involve yourself with others in ways that you feel enthusiastic about.

What I love about community is the amazing synergy that comes out of a group in which the individuals have moved past "What's in it for me?" and have shifted as a group to "What's in it for us and for those we serve?"

Other Things to Love About Creative Community

• companionship
• advice and mentoring
• circulation of information, methods, ideas, and techniques
• feedback
• encouragement
• inspiration
• intuitive input from others
• a safety net
• a venue for beta testing
• sounding boards

Dig-In Days

My friend and fellow entrepreneur, Mary Beth Krawchuk and I set several hours a week aside to "dig in" to our work while supplying structure, accountability, focus, and support for each other by phone at the beginning and end of each work hour. Many months ago when we first began, Mary Beth said, "I got more done on this project in this hour than I have in the past month!"

Give it a try with a friend or email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com. I can always use another accountability buddy!

Start Our Own Community? Why Not?!

Please scan this post again to see what kinds of support you need and how you might support others. Please leave a comment or email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com with your ideas, questions, quandaries, etc. My goal is to have creative4life become a nurturing community for those of us in any creative arena. (That is, just about all of us!)

Thank you,

Susan

Embrace Your Unique Way of Seeing the World

"Rely on yourself,

and be true to who you are.

What's unique about you

is what will take you far."

--from the children's book, Unstoppable Me!, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, with Kristina Tracy

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I agree. Please stop trying to fit in! We need your unique perspective and thought processes. Yes, even if your perspective has been pathologized as ADD, dyslexia or some other label.

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Our educational system and work culture are designed to fit the majority. Just because these institutions have not fully learned how to bring out our best doesn't mean there's something wrong with us! So if the mainstream "operating system" doesn't help you to be your best, create your own.

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This requires the courage and self-confidence to dance to your own drummer. Divergent perception and thinking styles often show up in the most creative among us. Therefore, we don't want to root them out and eliminate them. Rather, we need to learn to mitigate the downsides and leverage the upsides of these styles.

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This process may sometimes include the help of an M.D., therapist, family member, employer, friend, and/or coach. To set up a free trial coaching tele-session, contact me at scleaver@dejazzd.com.

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Here I'll be specifically discussing the traits associated with high sensitivity and ADD as examples, because they're the ones I've had personal experience with and have studied the most about. For an expert's view, check out the resources I'm including for each.

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High Sensitivity: Brilliance or Burn-Out?

See the work of expert Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person. She explains the trait (which is present in 15 to 20% of humans and animals) and offers great tips for living well with it.

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Fortunately, this trait has not been officially pathologized, although those of us who grew up with it may have been labeled by peers as "worry warts," "scaredy-cats," "namby-pambies," "cream puffs," or "shy loners."

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Highly sensitive people (HSP's) feel things very deeply, take in more details, and tend to be highly intuitive. The upside is that these characteristics put us easily in touch with our creativity.

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To others, however, we look like we are processing more slowly than they are, but actually we are processing more deeply. This also makes us look even more hesitant and easily alarmed than we really are. You might say that non-HSP's are skiing along the surface of the water while HSP's are scuba diving.

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The deep processing of HSP's leaves us vulnerable to sensory overload. It's essential for HSP's to set ample boundaries, to take extremely good care of ourselves, and to speak up for our needs. For me, this includes rarely watching TV or reading newspapers. I have to be careful about the amount of stimulation coming through, or I end up with burn-out.

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ADD It Up: Pathology or Purpose?

For excellent coverage of ADD, see the work of Edward Hallowell, co-author of Driven to Distraction.

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For better or worse, ADD has been officially pathologized, but not all experts agree on this.

Maybe folks with ADD seem to be "all over the place" because that's where the creative ideas are! There's a time and place for linear thinking, but when you're trying to be creative, it's more likely to just get in the way.

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I like to think of the ADD mind as a kaleidoscope, reaching out in all directions to form new patterns. The lateral thinking that comes so easily to those with ADD has been written about extensively by Edward De Bono for anyone to apply. However, I have seen resistance to his methods from highly linear thinkers. This doesn't make him or them wrong; it just points again to the natural differences in thinking and perceptual styles that add to the richness of mankind's accomplishments.

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If you have ADD, take a look at what kinds of structure, support, and accountability work best for you and implement those into your daily life. I find the structure of doing these weekly posts helpful for me. And in preparing the material for the posts, it helps me to use large index cards so that I can freely change the order of my points or add to them.

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It's also helpful to team up with an accountability buddy. This works great for me. If you're interested in mutual support by phone as we each tackle our projects, email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up a time.

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High Sensitivity and ADD: Kissing Cousins?

The more I learn about these two perceptual styles, the more overlap I see. As research continues in these areas, I would not be surprised to hear that they are closely linked.

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In any event, I believe that perceptual styles that deviate from the norm and the extra effort it takes to function in our culture with them result in a lot of "late bloomers." However, those of us who learn to compensate without attempting to conform are richly rewarded!

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Happy blooming,

Susan