My People-Pleasing Past

People-Pleasing began by the tender age of six for me.  I was in first grade, where we colored a lot.  My problem with all this coloring was that it seemed to take me forever.  

But, being a resourceful kid, I soon found the perfect solution, even if I do say so myself!  I had all the kids on my worksheets wear orange.  What a great idea!  This saved me lots of time...shirts, pants, dresses, and skirts...all in orange.  For me, orange was the new black!

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Svemir

My teacher, however, did not see the perfection in my solution.  And like most children, I felt a strong need to please adults. who were, after all the source of our ability to survive!

This self-protection response is often so deeply ingrained, that we forget to leave it behind as we approach adulthood, allowing it to create havoc in our lives.

Once, as a teen, I agreed to serve at a fund-raising dinner.  It was scheduled for the day after my friend's slumber party, which I was looking forward to, even though I knew it would involve very little slumber!

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Jessica Key

I had a great time with my friends, but the next day I had to drag myself to the dinner, which I never should have agreed to in the first place.  Saying NO couldn't have been any worse than that, especially when, in this case, it wasn't a self-protective response...it was just a habit that was not serving me well at all.

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/meshaphoto

Now...fast-forward to my college years.  My roommate and I received a "friendly visit" from two other young women who lived on our floor of the dorm.  They mentioned that they were hungry, so we got out some snacks for the four of us.

  Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Kadir Barcin

O.K., now here's the rub....  The following night, the same scenario played out again.  These young women didn't bother with us any other time.  Clearly these two were just looking for anyone with food who had passed "People-Pleasing 101"!

So, my roommate and I devised a "Pest Control Plan."  When the moochers returned on the third night, they said, "We're hungry!"  My roommate and I responded, "So are we!"  The pests never returned, and we saved our study time as well as our snack supplies.

Over the years, I've learned to protect my time, welcoming countless hours back into my own life! You can share your experiences with and solutions to this issue at the "comments" area button below.  Most of us need a tune-up now and then to keep our boundaries in place, so please share what you know with the rest of the creative4life Community.

Now, when I look back at my people-pleasing past, I see for sure that there was no future in it!  :-)

Thanks,
Susan

Mind Spa Coaching & Reiki

with Susan Cleaver

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/CGinspiration


Announcing Two Community Events
in the greater Philadelphia, PA, area

Pope John Paul II Wellness Fair
"Fun exhibits, healthy activities...and door prizes!"

Saturday, October 6, 2012, from 10 am to 1pm

Pope John Paul II High School, 181 Rittenhouse Rd., Royersford, PA 19468

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Kate_2004


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2nd Annual
You Can Heal Yourself from Cancer
Event presented by McCormick Chiropractic

Saturday, October 13, 2012; registration at 8:15 am; program from 9:00 am to 1:00 pm

Location: North Coventry Fire Dept. Social Room, 114 W. Schuylkill Rd., Pottstown, PA 19465

Eight inspiring speakers are slated to speak!  

Tickets are $20 each before Oct. 2; $25 after or at the door.  Bring a friend for free.

To register, call Lisa Weir at 610-705-0201.

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are (c) Susan Cleaver.***

***Proud member of the TriCounty Community Network (at www.tcnetwork.org), Coachville, and the Coachville R&D Team.***

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Giving What You Love, Loving What You Give

To my mind, it's the highest of honors to be able to help others using my creativity. The best jobs I've had in my life have allowed me to do this, and it's certainly true for the creativity coaching I'm doing now. Even more general personal coaching, which I also do, is greatly enhanced by using my creativity.

Have you ever come to this wonderful intersection where the world benefits from what you love to do? If so, please tell us about it in the comments section!

Perhaps you contribute in this way as a gardener, parent, teacher, writer, artist, therapist, designer, or creative problem solver. Even toddlers and kids brighten our world with their amazing creativity!

Do you see a need that's calling to be filled? What solutions are you uniquely prepared to provide? What help and resources will you need? Do you recognize the resources that are right under your nose? What other questions do you need to ask for your particular situation?

If you are contributing or planning to contribute in this way, I want to say this to you: thank you! The world is changing very rapidly, and the old quick-fix solutions to many of our issues just don't cut it anymore. We need you! This is not marketing hype; it is our reality. Look and see for yourself.

Your creativity is a sacred trust. If you would like guidance on delivering on that trust in a way that will be fulfilling to you, please email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com to set up an initial complimentary coaching tele-session.

To your success,
Susan

P.S. Looking for an accountability buddy to work with as you share your gifts with the world? Email me at scleaver@dejazzd.com so we can nudge each other along by phone. Coaches have been using this method with each other for years...because it works! :-)