My People-Pleasing Past

People-Pleasing began by the tender age of six for me.  I was in first grade, where we colored a lot.  My problem with all this coloring was that it seemed to take me forever.  

But, being a resourceful kid, I soon found the perfect solution, even if I do say so myself!  I had all the kids on my worksheets wear orange.  What a great idea!  This saved me lots of time...shirts, pants, dresses, and skirts...all in orange.  For me, orange was the new black!

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Svemir

My teacher, however, did not see the perfection in my solution.  And like most children, I felt a strong need to please adults. who were, after all the source of our ability to survive!

This self-protection response is often so deeply ingrained, that we forget to leave it behind as we approach adulthood, allowing it to create havoc in our lives.

Once, as a teen, I agreed to serve at a fund-raising dinner.  It was scheduled for the day after my friend's slumber party, which I was looking forward to, even though I knew it would involve very little slumber!

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Jessica Key

I had a great time with my friends, but the next day I had to drag myself to the dinner, which I never should have agreed to in the first place.  Saying NO couldn't have been any worse than that, especially when, in this case, it wasn't a self-protective response...it was just a habit that was not serving me well at all.

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/meshaphoto

Now...fast-forward to my college years.  My roommate and I received a "friendly visit" from two other young women who lived on our floor of the dorm.  They mentioned that they were hungry, so we got out some snacks for the four of us.

  Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Kadir Barcin

O.K., now here's the rub....  The following night, the same scenario played out again.  These young women didn't bother with us any other time.  Clearly these two were just looking for anyone with food who had passed "People-Pleasing 101"!

So, my roommate and I devised a "Pest Control Plan."  When the moochers returned on the third night, they said, "We're hungry!"  My roommate and I responded, "So are we!"  The pests never returned, and we saved our study time as well as our snack supplies.

Over the years, I've learned to protect my time, welcoming countless hours back into my own life! You can share your experiences with and solutions to this issue at the "comments" area button below.  Most of us need a tune-up now and then to keep our boundaries in place, so please share what you know with the rest of the creative4life Community.

Now, when I look back at my people-pleasing past, I see for sure that there was no future in it!  :-)

Thanks,
Susan

Mind Spa Coaching & Reiki

with Susan Cleaver

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/CGinspiration


Announcing Two Community Events
in the greater Philadelphia, PA, area

Pope John Paul II Wellness Fair
"Fun exhibits, healthy activities...and door prizes!"

Saturday, October 6, 2012, from 10 am to 1pm

Pope John Paul II High School, 181 Rittenhouse Rd., Royersford, PA 19468

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Kate_2004


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2nd Annual
You Can Heal Yourself from Cancer
Event presented by McCormick Chiropractic

Saturday, October 13, 2012; registration at 8:15 am; program from 9:00 am to 1:00 pm

Location: North Coventry Fire Dept. Social Room, 114 W. Schuylkill Rd., Pottstown, PA 19465

Eight inspiring speakers are slated to speak!  

Tickets are $20 each before Oct. 2; $25 after or at the door.  Bring a friend for free.

To register, call Lisa Weir at 610-705-0201.

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are (c) Susan Cleaver.***

***Proud member of the TriCounty Community Network (at www.tcnetwork.org), Coachville, and the Coachville R&D Team.***

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What Motivates a Patron to Buy Art? Here's What Stirs My Heart

Inspired by a recent visit to my favorite craft show (OJR Friends of the Arts), I'm sharing with you what motivates me to choose the particular pieces I buy there.

~The piece calls to my intuition.
~It expresses the artist's unique style and essence.
~The item may have an original twist on a well-loved theme or design element.
~It has an interesting combination of materials, textures, and colors.
~The piece has a certain earthiness to it.
~The item has a loose, flowing design that suggests a movement of energy.

At a show of this kind, I typically buy jewelry, clothing, and pottery. However, I look for these qualities in any art form, including books and performing arts, where some of these qualities tend to be more metaphorical.

I believe you should create according to what stirs your heart as a top priority, but I thought this list from an artist/patron's viewpoint might be helpful. I'd love to see your responses to the list in your comments!

Thanks,
Susan
scleaver@dejazzd.com

P.S. for Locals: Don't miss the free Wellness Fair this Saturday, March 21, 2009, from 10:00 am to 1:00 pm at the Boyertown Area Sr. High School! It's presented by the Boyertown Area Community Wellness Council. Bring the whole family; there's something for everyone.

I'm on the planning committee, so I can tell you it's going to be bigger and better than ever this year! Stop by and see me; I'll be exhibiting, giving brief Reiki treatments, and teaching a short workshop on "Embracing Imperfection."

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***