My People-Pleasing Past

People-Pleasing began by the tender age of six for me.  I was in first grade, where we colored a lot.  My problem with all this coloring was that it seemed to take me forever.  

But, being a resourceful kid, I soon found the perfect solution, even if I do say so myself!  I had all the kids on my worksheets wear orange.  What a great idea!  This saved me lots of time...shirts, pants, dresses, and skirts...all in orange.  For me, orange was the new black!

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Svemir

My teacher, however, did not see the perfection in my solution.  And like most children, I felt a strong need to please adults. who were, after all the source of our ability to survive!

This self-protection response is often so deeply ingrained, that we forget to leave it behind as we approach adulthood, allowing it to create havoc in our lives.

Once, as a teen, I agreed to serve at a fund-raising dinner.  It was scheduled for the day after my friend's slumber party, which I was looking forward to, even though I knew it would involve very little slumber!

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Jessica Key

I had a great time with my friends, but the next day I had to drag myself to the dinner, which I never should have agreed to in the first place.  Saying NO couldn't have been any worse than that, especially when, in this case, it wasn't a self-protective response...it was just a habit that was not serving me well at all.

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/meshaphoto

Now...fast-forward to my college years.  My roommate and I received a "friendly visit" from two other young women who lived on our floor of the dorm.  They mentioned that they were hungry, so we got out some snacks for the four of us.

  Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Kadir Barcin

O.K., now here's the rub....  The following night, the same scenario played out again.  These young women didn't bother with us any other time.  Clearly these two were just looking for anyone with food who had passed "People-Pleasing 101"!

So, my roommate and I devised a "Pest Control Plan."  When the moochers returned on the third night, they said, "We're hungry!"  My roommate and I responded, "So are we!"  The pests never returned, and we saved our study time as well as our snack supplies.

Over the years, I've learned to protect my time, welcoming countless hours back into my own life! You can share your experiences with and solutions to this issue at the "comments" area button below.  Most of us need a tune-up now and then to keep our boundaries in place, so please share what you know with the rest of the creative4life Community.

Now, when I look back at my people-pleasing past, I see for sure that there was no future in it!  :-)

Thanks,
Susan

Mind Spa Coaching & Reiki

with Susan Cleaver

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/CGinspiration


Announcing Two Community Events
in the greater Philadelphia, PA, area

Pope John Paul II Wellness Fair
"Fun exhibits, healthy activities...and door prizes!"

Saturday, October 6, 2012, from 10 am to 1pm

Pope John Paul II High School, 181 Rittenhouse Rd., Royersford, PA 19468

Photo (c) iStockphoto.com/Kate_2004


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2nd Annual
You Can Heal Yourself from Cancer
Event presented by McCormick Chiropractic

Saturday, October 13, 2012; registration at 8:15 am; program from 9:00 am to 1:00 pm

Location: North Coventry Fire Dept. Social Room, 114 W. Schuylkill Rd., Pottstown, PA 19465

Eight inspiring speakers are slated to speak!  

Tickets are $20 each before Oct. 2; $25 after or at the door.  Bring a friend for free.

To register, call Lisa Weir at 610-705-0201.

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***All of Susan's creative4life posts are (c) Susan Cleaver.***

***Proud member of the TriCounty Community Network (at www.tcnetwork.org), Coachville, and the Coachville R&D Team.***

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"Why Is She Telling Us This?"

This is my last decluttering update; I have finally reached 100 hours! I started on July 10, 2008, so I don't get any points for speed. I'll take credit for persistence, though!

You may be wondering, "Why is she telling us this?" I had two reasons for tracking my progress on my blog:

• For accountability (A special thanks to my hubby, Stew, and my good friend Mary Beth for heading up the accountability squad!) I also wanted to show you how much accountability helps on a project like this or most any other type. Just be sure your accountability buddies are people who are going to be positive and supportive, especially if the project is a creative one.
• As a demonstration of how you might use a similar method to break down a big project. Through my monthly updates, I've hoped to give you a bird's-eye view of how this can be done, along with the foibles and doubts I had along the way.

What about sustainability?

I spent a little time toward the end of the project setting up a plan for that. I didn't want my organizing efforts to go the way of yo-yo dieting.

I'm a member of www.Coachville.com, and they have a great program called "The 100 Day Challenge." I signed up for the one that started this week to work on maintaining what I did during my own "100 Hour Challenge." The program also gives me a fresh way to approach continuing to improve my home and office environments.

When you're planning a change for yourself, remember to figure in a way to maintain the results you'll attain. We all know how frustrating it is to slip backward. So...go for it, and follow through on the follow-through! :-)

To your success,

Susan

P.S. Contact me for a complimentary exploratory coaching session by phone or in person at scleaver@dejazzd.com or 610-385-3766. I look forward to hearing from you!

P.P.S. Thanks to all who attended my workshop at McCormick Chiropractic in Pottstown, PA, last night. It was fun!

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

A Shot in the Arm for Health Care

Note: Please read on even if you're not "local." You may be inspired to help develop or support a similar program in your community!

Community Health & Dental Care, Pottstown, PA

Please go to http://www.ch-dc.org/ to check this out! Any overview I could give would not do justice to this amazing organization. I learned about them through my membership in the TriCounty Community Network (http://www.tcnetwork.info/). I will say that through the generosity of several organizations and individuals, Community Health & Dental Care is in a position to accept under-insured and even uninsured patients as well as those with adequate insurance.

Perhaps you or someone you know would like to become a patient and/or supporter! Community Health & Dental Care's Director of Development, Carolyn Brunschwyler, says, "...we've all been challenged to help turn this country's problems around, and health care is certainly one of those problems." I think that sums it up nicely!

Thanks,
Susan

P.S. for Local Folks: Sign up for my complimentary workshop, Trade Up to a Healthier Habit, by calling my host, McCormick Chiropractic, at 610-705-0201! I'll be presenting the workshop on Tuesday, February 17, from 6:30 pm to 7:00 pm at their Pottstown office.

***All of Susan's creative4life posts are copyright of Susan Cleaver.***

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